The Boyfriend

by Freida McFadden

“Because I am an accountant and I know what a pyramid scheme is?” “No, you just don’t understand,”

i am gretchen making that call for you rn girl ‼️

What a great meet-cute. I can already imagine telling the story to our children. This jerk was trying to kiss me, and that, kids, is how I met your father.

I wonder what it’s like to cut into a person with a scalpel. To feel their skin separate under my hand. To see their insides. I can’t wait to find out.

UM?

Truth be told, I’ve only kissed a girl once, and I didn’t even want to do it. She kissed me. Except the only people who know about that are me and her. And now just me.

After all, the less time I spend with the chief of police, the better.

I have something called von Willebrand disease, which basically means that if I get a papercut, I’m going to leave a trail of blood behind me.

Romance novels give you an extremely unrealistic concept of romance. If I were a character in one of those books, our meet-cute would have quickly been followed by Mystery Man ripping off his T-shirt to reveal gleaming, rock-hard abs and then thrusting his throbbing loins against me.

Why is dating so hard? Why can’t I just find a great guy, marry him, and live happily ever after? Is that really too much to ask for?