Phantasma (Wicked Games, #1)

by Kaylie Smith

“Hello, cat,” she grumbled. “Did you come to plead his case? Or do you just get a kick out of watching me stumble around this wretched place?” “The latter, definitely,” Blackwell’s voice rang out behind her. Ophelia didn’t bother looking back at the Phantom as she snapped, “I thought I told you not to follow me?” “I apologize if I gave you the impression that I do what I’m told.” His tone was anything but apologetic.

“You have a response for everything, don’t you?” “Yes.” He winked, and she hated herself for thinking that the gesture was attractive.

Why does every LI dude in romantasy books wink? 🙈

Shaking off that thought, she nimbly laced up the corset of her black velvet dress, pulling the strings as hard as she could until she was barely able to breathe. Something she would regret later when she’d have to wrestle with the stays to get them off. Sometimes, it took both her mother and Genevieve to undo her corsets with how tight she made them, but she didn’t know what to expect out of Phantasma’s trials, and the last thing she wanted was faulty knots being a hindrance.

That's ridiculous. I need people to watch a Bernadette Banner video before writing about corsets.

But the comforting compulsion that usually overrode the inane tasks the voice ordered her to do didn’t have the same effect when she couldn’t feel it.

I'm sorry, whut? What is this sentence structure? 😬

Instead, it was the idea that the voice in her head had just chuckled at the prospect of her demise making her buzz with fear.

Sentence structure is so off in this book. I keep having to re-read and *restructure them myself* to absorb what is being said. This book really needed better editing. ✍️

“Let go,” she demanded, trying to tug herself away, but his grip only tightened. “You can’t really think you’re going to win this competition if you can’t handle these harsh truths, little mouse,” Cade taunted. “Stop calling me that.” She glowered as she pulled again. “Make me,” he bit out.

She should use her power on him.

“Don’t tell me you’re not going to fight back, angel,” a voice drawled somewhere above her. “Careful, or I’ll have to start believing you save all your moxie just for me.”

Exactly! That's what *I'm* saying...

“It’s about to get much worse than a few bugs.” “Worse than the Hellhound?” She regretted the question the moment it slipped from her mouth. Spiders bigger than her head were dropping from the ceiling of the dining hall, and she swore she saw something slither out of a dark corner. Phantasma certainly knows how to throw a victory dinner.

They don't even get a moment of peace afterward?!

Excuse me for not just taking the word of a Ghost who keeps stalking me.” “Stalking is a bit dramatic,” he drawled. She only glared at him. He let out a frustrated breath. “I could have not offered to help you at all—does that not warrant at least a sliver of confidence that I’m not trying to get you killed?”

Yeah. It's pretty annoying when a protagonist yells at someone obviously trying to help them. I get the author is trying to portray tension – the protagonist being stressed and lashing out – but it just comes off as Ophelia not being very smart.

“The Apparitions don’t really invest themselves much with the happenings in Phantasma outside of their debts. The Devils on the other hand… they have a betting pool for each group. Don’t worry, you’re not in their loser brackets. Yet.” Her nose wrinkled. “That’s sick.” He shrugged again. “A Devil is a Devil.”

She had the sudden urge to stick her tongue out at him, but she resisted, and the corners of his mouth slowly turned up as if he knew that was exactly what she wanted to do.

The protagonist is childish and annoying around the LI, I fear. 😬

“Aren’t you afraid that even if I do find this key, you still might not be able to pass over fully? That you’ll be able to leave Phantasma but not have any other place to go?” “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Life happens. Even in death. No use worrying about things that haven’t occurred yet.”

“You don’t get your prize until after you complete our bargain,” he reminded her. “But if you win the competition, a gift from me seems moot anyway considering Phantasma’s prize is better than anything I could offer.” “I don’t care about winning,” she told him. “You should. The winner gets a Devil’s Grant—one of the most coveted, omnipotent favors there are—and you could use it to settle your debt.

I like that the LI is sensible. He's not just a flirty manipulator.

“Let me rephrase, I don’t want to be capable of that.” She looked down at her hands. “It’s enough that so many people already think Necromancers are dark, even evil. I will not stain my hands with blood and prove them right.”

People are dropping left and right; just wait around for one that way. Also, I'm sure her love is going to fulfill the "heart" requirement anyway, so whatever.

“If you are not one of the Ghosts who perform the haunts, how did you end up trapped here?” “That,” he said, “is the burning question, isn’t it?”

Maybe he's the Devil of Phanasma. Like, the whole thing exists so he can find someone capable of helping him move on? 🤔

I need to feel… connected to whatever it is I’m looking for.” Blackwell tilted his head. “Alright. What would you like to know?” She looked him square in the eyes. “What’s your earliest memory of being here? Do you remember ever existing anywhere else?”

Oh good—something other than one-sided snarking and one-sided flirting. They're actually *communicating*. You love to see it.

“Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Perhaps that is it. I was an immortal in my past life. A Vampire, maybe. I do like to bite.” He clacked his teeth together in demonstration before giving her a wink.

How many times is he going to wink cheekily at her? 😬

What’s your favorite color?” He lifted a brow at the mundane question but reached out with the hand that wasn’t propping him up and tugged at the tail of the velvet ribbon tied in her hair. “Red.” The ribbon perfectly matched the rest of her ensemble: a high-collared, scarlet chemise with long gossamer sleeves that puffed at her shoulders and tapered then flared at her wrists, beneath a black velvet corset.

This book is delivering with the outfits. 💃🏻✨ I love outfit descriptions.

She turned to see a waiter, face covered with a raven mask, holding a tray of oddly colored drinks, each bubbling enticingly. Red, green, blue, pink, or gold. “Pick your poison,” the waiter urged as a cacophony of moans vibrated through the room. She hesitated. “What will it do?” “Depends,” they answered. “But you have about one more minute to choose before you’re taken from this place.”

I was thinking "Girl, you better not drink anything. 🤨" but they *have* to?!

man wasted no time reeling her back in. Then he began to change, his face slowly morphing into one with a familiar, square jaw. The eyes behind his mask turning from black to green as his hair became the color of fresh snow.

It's always a square jaw in these popular romantasy books. 🙄 At least he doesn't have black hair, purple eyes, and tattoos, I guess.

Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to have your reality so distorted that you can’t trust your own thoughts, your own sight?” “No,” he answered, sincere. “But it’s over. You figured it out before it was too late. You finished the level.” “But how do I know that!” she exclaimed, fear creeping into her voice. “How do I know this is real and I’m not being tricked by another illusion into a false sense of security?”

Oo, this is some good character psychology.

She couldn’t mention that she had intended to sneak off to the secret corridor without him. She would just have to table that idea for another time.

She wouldn't be alive if not for this guy and she wants to run around *without him*? T'would not be me. 🫣

It’s driving me mad watching you waste so much of it. Plus, I want you to learn how to control your little disappearing act before the next few levels.” “I think I’ll pass. I’m not sure I could tolerate you as a teacher. And what exactly does the next level entail?” “A lot of death if you don’t utilize every advantage,” he said. “Helpful as ever,” she quipped. “Well, I’m trying to be helpful, and you’re being difficult,” he countered.

Yes, and it's becoming pretty annoying for a character in her situation.

I’m going to see to it that your blood spills all over this floor, just to be extra sure. And if I’m wrong, that’s just one less person in this competition, right?” “Angel, you have to run,” Blackwell told her. “Disposing of him myself will drain too much of my magic at once.” “Men are always useless,” she growled to them both, half-exasperated, before pivoting and dashing for the next square.

Omg, authors—please no more "girlboss" characters. Just show her being competent and leave out the baby's first misandry™️ moments.

He huffed a laugh. “That’s not how things work, angel. Life is not measured in good or bad thoughts—it’s how you treat the world around you despite them. All the people who only do good deeds because of what that might gain them in the afterlife are no better than those who indulge in a little sin every once in a while.”

More Blackwell level-headedness.

“When you get into this level, make sure you summon me, alright?” She dipped her chin in a subtle nod. “Good girl,” he murmured.

He says that too much. I get Ophelia responds to positive reinforcement, but it comes off as condescending. Taking into account she likes positive reinforcement *because her mom denied it* adds to the already paternal connotations. If you're going for a couple consisting of equals, you don't want to emphasize their power imbalance. I mean, he's an old-ass supernatural creature and she's a young woman—but still.

Cade began to stride toward Ophelia with purpose, interlicking his fingers and pushing them away from his body to crack the joints in his knuckles. His malicious grin was all too confident as he announced, “I’ve been waiting for this moment.” “What moment is that?” she quipped back. “Your death? I’m sure the entirety of New Orleans has been waiting for this moment.”

👏🏽

Ophelia found that she liked the blood on her hands just a little too much. Yes, Necromancer, the Shadow Voice encouraged. Embrace your calling, harbinger of death. Unleash your darkness on the world.

Not sure "harbinger" is the right word here.

“Tick, tock,” the Shadow Voice prompted. “I’m not letting you go free,” she declared, lifting her chin in defiance. “Then come and get me,” it snarled.

He should be called 'The Shadow' now, because he's more than a voice at this point — But whatever. Perfect showdown moment !

She hurried after it, making her way down to the first floor, but as it plunged into the darkness beneath the overhanging landing, where the moonlight could no longer reach, Ophelia paused to yank down the brass candelabra from the post at the end of the banister at the end of the stairs, letting the dim light guide her into the unexplored parts of the manor.

Another run on sentence that should be broken up.

She held the candles before each of them in turn, trying to assess if any of them were slightly ajar.

"Of them" is repeated, which makes for a clunky sentence. The second doesn't need to be there.

What she found was a room full of mirrors framed by lush, red velvet curtains. Each reflection of herself contained something different—one where she was screaming, one where she was crying, one where the smile on her face stretched unnaturally wide. A most terrifying vision. Her dress was bloody and torn from her fight with Cade, and the firelight in her hand danced with hypnotizing fervor as she slowly turned to look at each version of herself.

Cool 🪞💃🏻🕯️🪞

She had been so alone for so long. Trapped in the confines of her own mind. She didn’t see why she needed to be alone now, just to prove that she was the only person she could rely on. Because she knew that wasn’t true.

Growth 🌱 Love a good arc. Some romantasy books lack that basic character structure, so it's good to see it here.

His hand came up to roll her other nipple between his fingers, pulling harder and harder until the pain became euphoric.

Don't rip it *off* 😆

The only problem is that she died before she was able to tell us about it and… I never found out where it’s located.”

Mom didn't put it in a will ?!

Genevieve pointed at her, a look of fear in her eyes. “It’s not just fucking. You have feelings for him?” “I have an array of emotions for him,” Ophelia muttered. “He can be quite the pain in the ass, I assure you.” Genevieve’s grin was absolutely scandalized. “Oh, I bet he can be⁠—”

I missed that B! 😂 I will definitely be reading *her* book.

“Didn’t your sister dearest tell you?” Sinclair asked innocently. “Blackwell isn’t the only one around here she kissed.” “He’s the only one I enjoyed kissing,” Ophelia retorted, and Blackwell’s grin turned wicked. “Meanwhile, no one has offered to kiss me once this entire competition,” Genevieve pouted. “I can change that,” Sinclair offered. “No,” Blackwell and Ophelia exclaimed at the same time.

😂

Ophelia narrowed her eyes at the Devil. “What’s your angle?” Sinclair laughed. “I suppose you’ll have to figure that out for yourself.” With that, he disappeared. “I’ve got to say, he’s creepy, but in a deliciously hot sort of way, you know?” Genevieve said. “I can’t say that I do,” Blackwell deadpanned.

Loving these interactions ! 🥰

He took a deep breath. “If you choose the wrong Genevieve, the magic will kill the real Genevieve outside of Phantasma. It’s Phantasma’s most powerful trick.” “What?” she cried.

Oh come on ! 😆 Phantasma, you merciless B!

She took a deep breath and then a leap of faith.

I like that Ophelia did some trials without needing help. The last one being a trial she *couldn't be helped* with was perfect. She had to do it on her own and she *did*. 👏🏽

He would be every bit of good she so desperately wanted to see in him as long as she was safe.

This book is full of clunky sentences like the above. I started ignoring them to get through faster—but I can't anymore. Something like this would read better : "As long as she was safe, he would exhibit the good she so desperately wanted to see in him."

The adoration that she still had shining for him in her gaze made him loathe himself.

Another messy sentence. Would be better as : 'The adoration still shining in her gaze made him loathe himself.'

She clung to him as hard as her remaining strength would allow as if she still didn’t quite believe he was real.

There should be a comma here. 'She clung to him as hard as her remaining strength would allow, as if she still didn’t quite believe he was real.'

Magic slammed into his body, sending him flying back from her. He rolled back to his feet in an instant, but his father had already reached her.

The second 'back' doesn't need to be there. This author has a habit of repeating words in two close-by sentences. It gets distracting and breaks immersion. This book really needed better editing. We're in a scene of dramatic revelation but multiple mistakes break immersion, ruining the impact.

“Me too, angel.” Something about the way he said those words, the way he still called her angel, unraveled something within her. “Was… was any of it real?” she whispered.

Not liking the nickname tying back to his first love. I get they're reincarnated into Ophelia or whatever, but she's *her own person*.

So many times, in so many ways, and it barely took you a week to change me so intrinsically.

This sentence should be broken up to flow better. Also, they fell in love within a week? The fated mates trope strikes again! I guess they could also have the "getting close after teaming up under a highly traumatic situation" thing going.

And I want you to know that I will gladly take on whatever this place is going to curse me with knowing you will finally get out of the Hell you’ve been trapped in for so long.”

Another instance of overlong sentences ruining an emotional moment. Writers need to take into account whether dialogue flows naturally. Say this sentence out loud and you'll run out of breath.

She and Genevieve still had a lot to work out; they had been making an effort to untangle the delicate threads of tension from their childhood, but Ophelia had never been more confident of where she stood with her sister.

Aw 🥰

ones such as herself, Genevieve, and Luci, who felt as if they had no choice but to thrust themselves into perilous situations when hard times struck. She wondered if there may be an untapped avenue of business to explore there instead of dealing with corpses and death day in and day out. To be a sort of safe haven to explore options of assistance in the paranormal realm before making an ill-advised deal with a being who had malicious intents. The new Grimm legacy.

Oo, I like this !!

she found Salem leaning in the doorway, the corners of his lips lifting in an exasperated smile as Poe purred away in his arms. The cat had apparently bonded to him enough over their centuries together in Phantasma that the little fiend decided to remain here instead of returning to Hell.

Ok, v. cute, v. cute 🥰