Phantasma (Wicked Games, #1)

by Kaylie Smith

To those who’ve had to claw their way out of the dark and still choose to be a light in this world⁠— I’m proud of you.

The need to be good, to do well by everyone who had ever expected anything of her, was nestled deep inside her bones. Inextricable from her soul.

“Aren’t you a peculiar little mouse.”

“You are exactly the person I’ve been waiting for.”

“Might want to mind your heart around him, or the trials won’t be the worst that’ll happen to you.”

“This is real,” he promised. “I’m real. I’m sorry the illusion used my likeness to trick you. I need you to know if you were to ever let me touch you, in any way, the moment you wanted to stop—I would. No hesitation.”

She buried her face into the crook of his throat. “You came.” “You called,” he answered.

“Next time your mind tries to convince you otherwise, remember this: there is nothing about you that I find undesirable. Okay?” She looked away. She never wanted to believe something more.

No atrocity you could commit to make me not want you like this. No matter how forbidden.”

“I want to know everything. I want to see all the darkest corners of your mind.”

“I am not your angel, but I will be your nightmare. If you sabotage my chance of getting my sister back, I will find a way to haunt you until every single one of your inner demons looks like me. You will never know a moment of peace again.”

“So, maybe I don’t want to just be a distraction to you.”

“I think you might be the closest to heaven I’ll ever get,” he whispered.

“That’s not how things work, angel. Life is not measured in good or bad thoughts—it’s how you treat the world around you despite them.

“No. I don’t want space,” she breathed. “I want anything but space.” Their collision was earth-shattering.

He wasn’t a Phantom in this moment, nor she a mortal. And this was not a melding of their bodies, but their souls.

“Go to fucking Hell,” she spat. His smile was tight. “Are we not already here, angel?”

“I can’t fucking stand the thought of him—of anyone—pleasuring you except me. I’d rather cease to exist than know you’ve looked at anyone else the way you look at me when I’m touching you.”

but you are the only thing that’s ever made me feel even a semblance of hope in this eternity of Hell. The dream I’ve been looking for—the one to wake me up. The thought of wasting another second when I will lose you forever in only three days has ruined me. You are the closest thing I will ever get to experiencing heaven, and I’m not ready to let it go.”

“I need you to know that you are the only person who has ever made me feel like I am capable of anything,” she lamented. “The only person who has ever made me feel truly seen.”

“In a different life, in a fair one, I would’ve kept you until my eternal soul withered away to dust,” he vowed to her.

Yes, Necromancer, the Shadow Voice encouraged. Embrace your calling, harbinger of death. Unleash your darkness on the world.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You’re not broken. But it’s okay to get outside help if it gets too loud.

“He will always come to me,” she whispered. “We find each other every time. And you cannot stand that, because it means I’m no longer alone with you.”

I told you before that nothing would ever stop me from getting to you if you needed me, and that will remain true forevermore. I would tear the universe apart at its seams if I must.”

“In all the darkness, in all the loneliness, you have been my one source of light,” he lamented as she began to come undone. “My soul will go to its grave with your name echoing in my mind.”

I was able to hear myself for once. And I want you to know that I will gladly take on whatever this place is going to curse me with knowing you will finally get out of the Hell you’ve been trapped in for so long.”

But… every single second I’ve spent with you has reminded me what it’s like to be alive. And I would trade every other soul in the world if it meant I would get to keep you forever.”