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“You have no idea how hard it is to be in the same room as you and not touch you, hold your hand, tell everyone you’re mine.”
love watching you come apart. So beautiful.”
“Every moment with you fucking hurts.” His voice was pure grit, words cracking and breaking. “Every moment without you…hurts so much more.”
A dense cloud formed around us. A beautiful haze of wrong and right, nothing and everything, could be, wouldn’t be, shouldn’t be.
But he was in my bones, in my blood, and there was nothing I could say or do to carve him out of all of my essential pieces.
His gaze skimmed my face as he drank in those three destructive words, one by one, swallowing them down, until their sweetness turned sour and poisoned the moment.
“You’d be surprised how easily good intentions can turn rotten. Every single one of us is capable of hurting the people we love most.”
“I am letting you go, Comet.”
“You just had to be so perfect. My white knight. My rescuer. You had to be everything I’ve dreamed about, every wish I’ve made on falling stars and birthday candles and pennies in mall fountains, and you had to make me fall in love with you.” Words spilled out of me, assaulting him like an ambush.
“Falling for you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” I confessed through the anguish. “Everything else? Painful. Torturous. Difficult beyond belief. But loving you…” The anger died out, flatlining to a dead pulse. “Effortless.”
“You deserve to have someone in your corner, fighting like hell for you. For your honor, your worth. I want to be that person. I’ll be that guy…even if that’s all I’ll ever be.”
While pieces fell into place, other pieces broke into tiny fragments. All of my stupid hopes and daydreams shattered at my feet.
We weren’t done. Our story wasn’t over, and yet “The End” was stamped in black ink across the pages. I knew it was for the best, but the best didn’t always feel better. We would forever be a half-written song.
Our foreheads touched, our noses grazed, and I said softly, “Are you here to save me?” Another kiss landed on my hairline, and he lingered there, squeezing me tighter, exhaling ragged breaths against my skin. “You never needed saving, Halley. You were never lost.” “I was,” I cried. “I was lost when you found me, and I’ll be lost when you leave me.”
It was fascinating the way human beings tended to living things; how we could nurture something so fiercely, all while knowing it was going to die. Just a little more water, we’d say. Better sunlight. A silent wish for a few more good days. But it didn’t matter. Every hearty, thriving thing carried with it the certainty of an expiration date. Nothing lived forever. Even love. And still, we allowed it to bloom. We breathed life into it, while simultaneously whispering our last goodbye. Some goodbyes just came far too soon.
“Love is weak. Love is selfish. It’s not this fairy-tale illusion of candy hearts and paper flowers. It’s messy and painful. But it’s always worth it.”
“Yes.” Reed stopped pacing, coming to a dead stop a few feet away. He stared at me, jaw clenched tight, hands balled even tighter. “Yes, Halley, I’m in love with you. I think I proved that when I threw myself under the bus and completely destroyed my relationship with my daughter to protect you. To keep her from hating you,” he gritted out. “So, yes…I love you. I love you fiercely, wholly, selfishly and unselfishly, more than I ever fucking should. I love everything about you, from your smile, to your perfect heart, to the way your hair always slips from your ponytail when you’re running or
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Love did that. It zapped your heart when it’d rather give out, and it possessed your arms when they wanted to droop instead of hold. He was defenseless. Love made us all so damn defenseless.
“Swim in the ocean, take pictures, walk down the aisle in a white gown, and raise beautiful children who see you as the center of their universe. I want that for you. I need that for you.”
time as our tongues tangled together, desperation fueling us. He gripped my hair, cupped my jaw, pressing closer like he could forge a home inside of me. I’d let him. I’d let him gut me from top to bottom and build anew.
“As much as a girl can love the next best thing.”
Once upon a time, I thought I missed her. But it was she who’d missed out on me. Not all mothers were meant to be caretakers. Not all monsters were meant to be rehabilitated. And not all love stories were meant to last.
The night I met you, you sat down in a cold lake and said, “You’re welcome.” I said I didn’t thank you for anything and you replied with, “You might one day.” You were right. Thank you, Halley Foster. You’ve made me a better man.
was at home again. Not in Illinois, but in Reed’s glittering galaxy. A comet landing in the arms of its favorite star.
Love won out like a steady flame.
Growing old with the one you love was an underrated treasure. Aging was frightening. Death was an ominous certainty that nipped at our ankles. But the journey to the other side of this life with someone who held your heart, who shared your dreams and fears, who knew you in the deepest corners of your soul, was a privilege beyond measure. It was a promise of companionship through every storm.
