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Before dinner, I had been ready to press for more. To turn this friendship dinner into a date. But now I was going to pull back. I was thirty-six years old and this would be my last chance to win Felicity’s heart. I couldn’t risk rushing things and fucking up my chance. Backing off would give her time to settle into her life here. She’d have the opportunity to plant some roots and to remember that this is where she belonged.
I didn’t know if I’d ever get a chance to have children, but if I did, I wished for a man who treasured me and his unborn child that much.
This time around, I didn’t want her running to me as an escape. This time around, I wanted her to finally choose me just because I made her happy.
“Does it make me a horrible person that I’m grateful for his funeral?” Tears flooded my eyes as the words came out. Mom stood and crossed the room, pulling me into her arms. “I don’t think grateful is the right word. How about this? You’ll always love and remember the good things he brought to your life. One of those was the chance to come home.” I nodded and hugged her tighter. “I like that.”
“Well, last year he bought a section of land next to the forest service. I wanted to use it to background yearlings in the summer but he’s hell-bent on trying to plant alfalfa. What he isn’t seeing or he’s just ignoring is that we’re getting really low yields, so we still end up buying hay. We’d be money ahead to have steers up there grazing and then sell them at heavier weights in the fall.” I stared at him, dumbfounded, having no clue what he’d just said.
I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else than the Lucky Heart. This is where I wanted to raise my family and where I’d always pictured growing old. But if Dad drove Felicity away, he’d be seeing my back too. Because no matter where she ran, I’d be racing right after her.
These completely unattractive, yet highly functional boots were an incredibly thoughtful gift. Silas always took care of me. On the worst nights of my life, he’d never let me down. My chest felt too small for my heart and I struggled to breathe.
“You’re going to leave?” “Yep.” I tossed the word over my shoulder. “So that’s your answer? I’m pissed so you run away?” My feet slid to a halt on the gravel and I spun around. “I’m not running away.” He glared at me and sneered, “Sure feels like it. And I’d know, wouldn’t I?” Ouch. That was the first time he’d ever thrown the past in my face. How could he think I’d run away? I was giving him some space. I was taking some time to compose myself before we both ended up saying things we’d regret. How could he not see that? I guess he really hadn’t forgiven me for the mistakes I’d made, after
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