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It’s been a year since she’s been gone, a year since she left me alone in this world. Alone with the gift, as she called it. The gift to see the spirits that walk alongside us, the gift to help the ones in need, to help them find the light. With her gone, it feels more like a curse.
I’d always been an anxious kid, more of a homebody, and to be honest, I still am. But it’s not like I have a comfort zone anymore. The house I lived my whole life in has been sold, and the city I called home is burned with traumatic memories I had to leave behind to somehow survive what happened.
Ever since my grandmother passed away, I’ve been feeling lost and disoriented. The world seems to have scattered in all directions, much like the pieces of my life. I wish I didn’t feel so adrift all the time. It’s as if finding a new place to call home is an unattainable dream. But I push those thoughts away.
On cue, a chill runs down my neck, and I spot her mother on our left side out of the corner of my eye. She’s just watching Tally again with a proud smile. I gently squeeze Tally’s hand, and the words escape my lips before I can second-guess myself. “She’s only a whisper away.”
don’t know what she’s pleading for, but I would give her all of me right here, right now. A kidney? Sure, take it. You know what, take the leg I have left. I don’t need it anyway.
“I just didn’t want that guy to have it or for it to be lost in his damn boat,” I tell her, meaning every word. “I would love for you to have it, though.” You can have all of me.
Saylor seems to sense I’m still barely holding on, and a playful glint enters his eyes. “Hey, girl, are you a coffin? ’Cause I’ve been dying to get inside you.” I just look at him and shudder at the thought of being inside a coffin. “Well, I thought that one was funny because I’m dead…”
“You know how to play poker?” I snort with amusement. “No, but I’m really good at ‘Go Fish.’” I played that all the time with Nan. My heart hurts when I think about how she always won, not letting me win one damn time. I feel the familiar burn in my nose, so I shake off the thought. Can’t have a panic attack only to break out in tears right afterward. That’s what a crazy person would do.
I raise an eyebrow, a challenge in my gaze. “Raising the stakes already, are we?” Saylor smirks, his flirtatious demeanor in full force. “Maybe I just want to see what you’ve got.” Nope. Nah-uh, Sloan, you are not going to get all worked up over a ghost. But Jesus, that line went straight to my pussy, and the grin on his face tells me he knows. Suddenly, his grin falls. He presses his eyes shut and nearly growls in frustration. “No! Fuck, not now!” And in a blink, he’s gone.
“Man, you’re beautiful,” he tells me, making North and Saylor scoff simultaneously.
“Sometimes, I feel like the past is a shadow, waiting to swallow me whole if I step wrong,” I confess, my voice a mere wisp of sound.
I’m trying to let myself feel safe, to take in the kindness without expecting something bad to happen next. And as I start to fall asleep, I think that perhaps it’s okay to be here, just for tonight.
Can a ghost feel butterflies? Because I sure as fuck do right now.
“You know, just because he’s good for your hole doesn’t mean he’s good for your soul,”
“So, a thunder buddy is someone who holds your hand when it thunders, who is with you through the storm, so you don’t have to be afraid. I think we all could use a thunder buddy,”
What is there to hold onto and fight for when nothing awaits me outside this dark hole?
Nan’s voice fades like a distant lullaby. “I’m only a whisper away.”
Nash wraps his arm around me, stroking my back. “Do you know what it means when someone you love but lost visits you in your dream?” I bury my face in my hands, overwhelmed by the emotions the dream has stirred up. My voice is shaky when I answer. “No.” “It means they came to visit you, making sure that you’re okay.”
Hunter leans against the hot tub’s edge and carefully removes his prosthetic leg, placing it on one of the porch chairs. He then perches on the tub, turning to face me, and I can’t help but admire how incredibly handsome he looks.
“It wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t hers. She fought with all she had, but some battles are too hard on the soul to keep fighting. Sometimes, letting go is the only way to stop hurting. You couldn’t have prevented it. Her decision to leave was never a choice but rather a desperate escape from a torment that felt never-ending. But it’s over now.”
