PS: I Hate You

by Lauren Connolly

“When you’re in the room,” he says, “you’re all I see.”

“My perfect future has you in it.”

“You know what I don’t abide? Is you letting me have a taste of life with you, then disappearing the moment things don’t go exactly as you planned,” he growls.

It was just me. You did a favor for the girl who helped your family out.”

“You are weird,” he finally says, and I flinch. But he’s not done. “You’re so fucking weird, Maddie Sanderson. And I love

You want to know why your birthday is the combination to my safe?” His eyes try to catch mine, but I stare at the framed puzzle of the Rocky Mountains over his shoulder instead, even as my body wants to lean toward his to better hear the answer. “Because I tried to literally lock thoughts of you away, too. It never worked. How I feel about you isn’t going away.”

These trips aren’t the reason I’m still obsessed with you.”

“Don’t you want to know why it took me a week to seek you out?” A shadow crosses his expression. “I didn’t want to wait. After you hung up on me, I booked a ticket to come the moment the storm let up.”

“No,” he agrees. “I didn’t. Because I realized that this time, I didn’t want to book a round-trip ticket.”

“I’m leaving your home, but I’m not leaving you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I messed up. I will again. You had me on a pedestal, and I hurt you when I fell off it. I can’t promise you perfection, much as I want to be that man for you. What I can swear is that I will never be the one to leave. I’m yours, Maddie Sanderson. And I’m ready to wait, as long as it takes.”

because you will keep breathing, and you will not give up on me, Maddie Sanderson. Do you understand? You told me to just keep living. And I did. Without you. And I’ll live as long as you tell me to. But you’ve got to live, too. For me. For you. For Josh, who didn’t get to. Just keep living.” Dom holds my gaze and cradles my body so close I can feel him shaking. I stare into his terrified eyes. And I start crying.