Under Loch and Key

by Lana Ferguson

sheep avalanche,

“I—I’m—” “Stupid,” he finishes for me,

and she actually stomps her foot

Oh god

My entire life, I have been told to fear this woman, the one I didn’t know existed until just now—but she certainly doesn’t look like the end of the world as I know it.

H u h

And we are family, after all.

That dont mean dick

“My newest complication,” I murmur back. Blair hums appreciatively. “I’d let her complicate me any day.” “You’re no worse than a man,” Rory tsks. “You know that?”

I’m gathering that Finlay is an…emotional sort.

Clearly lmao

and cow after cow after cow—which

Well, fuck you too, I think, followed immediately by, Actually, don’t go there, brain.

We do not lust after assholes, damnit.

“All right, all right,” Finlay huffs. “Enough with your flirting. There are cows to feed.”

In the six months since I arrived, I’ve searched the property high and low for answers to my predicament, for anything that might lead me to answers that might prolong my inevitable fate, but to no avail.

Will we ever know tho damn

What could have possibly happened to make Rhona want to forget she had a son?

And it’s exactly at that moment that I’m thrown into the water.

Because not only is the fucking Loch Ness Monster real, but apparently—there is more than one.

I could have just let her be eaten, I think distantly. But no.

“What makes you say that?” “What makes me…Seriously?” She paces back and forth restlessly, gesturing at me with a wave of her hand. “I passed out last night next to a literal dinosaur, and I woke up and it’s you, and you’re naked.”

A MacKay woman, the last person in the world I’d want to share with and who, if my father is to be believed—could be my ruin. Fuck.

“No, I was trying to tell you that Nessie has a dick.”

She looks excited, damn her. Why does she look so bloody excited? Can’t she be properly terrified of me? I’m a monster, for fuck’s sake. Not a fucking puppy.

“Excuse me,” she scoffs. “You meet a magical cryptid and see if you don’t have a million questions. If Bigfoot walked into your kitchen right now, pretty sure you’d have questions.”

“You’re not leading me into the woods to kill me, are you?” I don’t see him roll his eyes, but I can feel it. “Lot cleaner ways to get you out of the picture if I wanted to, lass.” “Well, that’s comforting.”

Why do you keep insisting that my entire family is bad?”

Bc youre the kelpies bitch

“All this does is prove to me that I’m supposed to help you. If it really was the MacKays that cursed your family, then maybe it’s the MacKays that have to help you undo it.”

Her wee bunny teeth draw my eye,

Saying she has bunny teeth is wild

“Okay,” I answer. “If you’re sure.” Lachlan scoffs. “I’m always sure.” We’re utterly drenched

“Jesus suffering fuck,”

“S’not fair that you’re so goddamned beautiful,” he rasps.

Are they abouy to fuck in an abandoned castle

“We shouldn’t,” I argue feebly. She just tilts her head, allowing me better access. “If you stop, I’ll kill you.”

The sound of her laugh lights me up; it’s still one of the most unattractive noises I’ve ever heard, and yet, hearing the pealing sound of it, knowing I caused it—it’s damned near like music.

So he thinks she has bunny teeth and an awful laugh??

I don’t tell him I know the exact noise the “bonnie MacKay girl” makes when my tongue is between her legs, figuring that giving old Hamish a heart attack wouldn’t go over well.

I remind myself that it wouldn’t be polite to strangle him in public.

I’ve known her for barely a month,

a Pavlovian response to her nearness.

“Is this not enough for you, princess?” I tease. “You need more than my fingers, aye?”

“Oh. Oh.” Her lashes flutter as her head tilts back, a pretty flush spreading up her neck. “I can feel you—fuck. I think you’re getting bigger.”

I was wondering if theyd fuck in monster form lol

I gape in surprise when I notice my cock has definitely gotten thicker, longer even, maybe—but more noticeable than that…there are fucking ridges protruding down the length of it.

oh theyre gonna use those ridges later im sure

“What the fuck,” I whisper. I snap my gaze back up to meet hers. “Key…this has never happened.”

WAIT is that the key to breaking the curse? True love fucks the monster

A noise behind me makes me jolt, a shaking of the bushes farther up the shore making me spin around as what sounds like the thumping of footsteps makes my heart begin to race.

Oh great

too-long tongue with wide eyes as she does the same, eyeing the tip, which has split into two points to make a forked end.

“So are you saying you don’t have time for me to suck you until your eyes cross like you just did me?”

“Don’t,” she says, putting more distance between us. “Don’t touch me.”

I dont get why shes pissed?

“I’m sorry, mate,” a familiar voice murmurs. “This will all be over soon.”

Brodie im guessing

I didn’t even tell him what Sorcha wrote about the bridle. Not that I’m even sure what it means.

She buried it with her husband you ninny what else could it mean

I set the journal on his kitchen table,

Stupid

“No, you don’t understand. He’s an actual monster. I’ve seen it. He’s cursed, Key, and he’s been using you to find a way to break it.”

Okay? Let him not be a monster then? Alternative youre gonna kill him with the giant knife??

“Money…power…respect…I can have all of it. No one will make me feel like I’m worthless ever again.”

Oh so youre just a piss baby incel

I take another step, and then another, and then suddenly, he’s right there. Standing before me as if he never left.

Wouldnt he be naked

I notice she’s very carefully averting her gaze, and that’s when it dawns on me. My da is completely naked.

Okay i was correct