Don't Go Faking My Heart (Sweet as Sugar Maple, #4)

by Kate Watson

To everyone who’s ever left a get together and wondered if she overdid it, if she was a little too extra… You weren’t. You were absolutely delightful.

How this woman talked me—a guy who’s up before the rooster crows—into abandoning my post and staying up all night is no mystery. I'm madly in love with her.

All she said was, "Oh, do you have dyslexia? Cool. I have ADHD. Our brains are going to be best friends." Then she high-fived me, and that was the moment I started to fall.

Only a fool messes with Ash, too, but it's not because of what she'll do to them.

Because I love you. Because you're the person I want to be good for.

"Oh, sure, you keep Pookie’s treats on hand, but not Ash’s?” “It’s Prairie, not Pookie. And no. I would have to raid a second grader’s Valentine’s box to keep Ash treats on hand.” "Um, excuse me? Fun Dip is a delicious treat for any occasion." "If you're seven," he says. "No, it's always good." I show him my left hand. "Someday, the man I love is going to put a Ring Pop on this finger."

I stride to Ash, tap Philip's shoulder, and say, "I'm gonna need you to get your hands off my girlfriend."

"If you were lucky enough to love a woman like her, you'd do anything to keep her in your arms." Shoot, that was smooth.

Hello, tummy waffles. "Are you for real?" I ask Rusty. "Where have you been hiding these things?"

Rusty's worth too much to reduce to something as dumb as hot abs. Because if he gained a hundred pounds, I wouldn't care about him any less. He wouldn't be any less special or important to me.

"Is that what he did? I am going to kill him." Ash's eyes pop. "Get in line," Millie says. "And use your imagination," Parker says, turning her nose up at my word choice. "Kill? Seriously? I'm going to disembowel him and use his⁠—" "I'm already using his entrails," Millie says. "I'm going to boil them like a witch." "Oh, that's good," Parker says appreciatively.

"I want to see him lose. I want to revel in the devastation on his face as he wishes the worst thing that ever happened to him was dismemberment, disembowelment, or death. I want to watch him suffer knowing he's incapable of a love like Ash's, but that she's found someone else totally, perfectly worthy of her."

Jane asked for Parker’s help throwing it without telling her who it was for. Because she's a meddling meddler who meddles. Spoiler alert: her meddling worked and Parker and Sonny got back together. I

"I gave up on yoga. Nonna convinced me I should try kickboxing, and she was spot on. It's much more my speed." "Shocker," Millie says. "Okay, CrossFit," Parker says as the two of them leave the office.

"If you take away the pain of grief, you take away the love from life. You can't have loss without love."

Mrs. Beaty laughs and completes her canasta, winning the round. She pats his hand. "Next time you try to hustle a hillbilly, work smarter, not harder."

"And now," the DJ continues, "here's the first single from her new album: Strawberry Fields for Never."

"I'm sorry," Rusty says into his hat with endearing uncertainty. "Uh, no," I say. "You don't apologize after kissing someone like that. You say 'you're welcome.'" He drops his hat as people surround us. "Are you thankin' me?"

Sonny, Parker, and Lou have all arrived, and all three are wearing the smirkiest smirks that have ever smirked.

I find it rude that avoidance doesn’t fix all of life’s problems.

“Rusty Fielding,” she says. “What else don’t I know about you?” Don’t hold back. "You wanna find out?" She runs a finger over the side of her mouth. "The way you turn that charm on is seriously disarming." She walks over to the passenger side of the truck and climbs in before I can get the door for her. "What are you doin'?" I ask when I open my own door. "Finding out."

"Yuck!" a little boy I can only assume is Liam says. "I never want to get married. Girls are gross." "Put a cork in it, Liam," Ava D says. "We're gettin’ married."

"That's boring," Ava D interrupts, and I have never wanted to shut a little kid up more. "I like Liam because he's cute." Liam pulls his shirt over his face. "I don't want to marry you!" "I think Ash is the most beautiful woman in the world," Rusty says to Ava. "Sometimes, I lose my words when she comes into a room, because there's no space left in my head for anything except thoughts of her." His eyes meet mine for only an instant, and I burst into flames. ACTUAL FLAMES. "Is that better, Ava?" Rusty says. Ava D nods.

"As you wish." "Okay, Westley." "Okay, Buttercup." Ash looks at me. "Um, hello, did we just give each other new nicknames?" "I think we did."

He took the most awkward, forced kiss in the world and turned it into something sweet. Something endearing. Something … Sexy. HOW IS HE SO GOOD AT THIS?

"By all means, keep going," Jane says. "Don't let us stop you," Millie agrees, taking a sip of her Diet Coke. "We can wait." Parker says. "Heck, I'll grab some mistletoe if it helps," Lou says. "It's May," Parker says. "So?" Lou asks. "So why would you grab mistletoe?" "To help speed things along." "You think going to the garage, opening up a box of mistletoe, and coming back all the way here with it would speed things along?" "And you think I was being literal?" "I'm not the poet here." "No, you're really not," Lou teases.

And I don’t let anyone tell lies about my Farm Boy.”

I can throw coffee at four of you just as easily as one. #Snitchesgetstitches

Follow me for more dating tips, folks.

"She has a song called 'Baby Llama Drama.'"

"Miscommunication tropes might suck, but no one can say they aren't based in reality." He

Lottie and I have had an on-again, off-again friendship since Rusty and I made it official. Fortunately, she's gone totally gaga for Sonny's nephew, Felix, so I'm hoping we'll be able to put this behind us for real this time.

"Neighbors. And you're too Southern not to know what that means," Rusty says. She narrows her eyes. "Your sound argument is not wanted here. This is a logic-free zone, thank you very much." "My mistake," he says.