Dawn of Adakia (Silvan Outlands Book 1)

by R.K. Lander

“I remember her face, looking down at me, smiling, saying something I didn’t understand for many years, until the dream became more vivid.” “What did she say?” asked Angon. Fel’annár smiled at him, before his eyes lost focus as he recalled his mother’s words. “Be strong. Smile in the face of adversity. Serve well, my Ari’atór. We will meet again.”

“Your friendship with Orsal is strong. The thought of his death would devastate you, where the news of a ransacked village, its people massacred by revenants, would make you angry but not affect you in the way Orsal’s death would. But when you are the warrior who fights in that village, Yasei, when you see the death of civilians, innocent elves, grandparents, mothers, fathers, and babies… when you see cruelty of the highest order, witness the most unimaginable deaths, the only thing standing between that horror and your family, your friends, like Orsal – is you.” Yasei’s eyes were no longer unfocused but sharp, and on Galdith. His surrender was not lost on this member of The Company, the one who had only just been reunited with his brother in arms, only to turn away and carry out his duty to the crown, to Yasei’s father. “Yasei, I of all people, understand friendship, brotherhood. I, of all those you know, understand what it is to lose a wife and a babe to the cruelty of sand lords. It is I who understand what it is to die for a cause, for my commanding officer and the mission he charged me with. Will you listen to me? Will you trust me? Will you accept my orders, however much you feel they go against Orsal’s safety? Can I trust you in a way Captain Fer’dan no longer can?”

“His parents would not have put him down in the name of Fel’annár. Lord Thargodén would not pit one son against the other.”

“He’s old enough to understand, to fight against it. It’s not Fel’annár’s fault he is remembered fondly. Well he should be, after all he did for Ea Uaré. To me, Orsal sounds fickle, too sensitive for warriorhood.”

He’d been oblivious yet again, never really thinking about the consequences of his actions.

self absorbed

Despite the scant hours they had shared as brother and sister, he felt their kinship deepen, shift further towards the deeper parts of his soul. Placing a hand over his heart, he tore his gaze away from her and to Angon. With a hand on his friend’s boots in the stirrups, Fel’annár pursed his lips, felt a strange sort of peace descend on him. “When I met you, you were angry for Fer’dan’s loss, for the injustice we suffered at the hands of the Alpines. I was angry too, although for different reasons, but you – I see how you use it, how it hides your heart, how big and soft it is. You’re like the great bears of the Deep Forest, protective and fierce, nurturing, and fearless, strong body, and a heart of honey. You are Grav’atór, if you would join us, join my Company, for as long as you will?”

“My love for you is more than instinct, more than pride. It is a living thing, Fel’annár, pure and single minded. It wakes with me at dawn, sings me to sleep at night, promises me that one day my eyes would see your face, share the same world, the same room, the same space. And now, you are here, in my arms, after all this time, across worlds and lifetimes. The gods are cruel and callous, righteous, and magnanimous. They took my babe, then brought him back a man, strong and good. You are all I ever imagined you would be, everything I knew you could be.”

“You asked me questions. You asked whether it had been worth it.” He smiled through his tears. “You asked whether I could feel the part of your soul that you bestowed upon me. You asked if I could ever forgive you…” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t quite believe why she would ever ask such things. But she had, and he would answer. “Yes. To everything except your plea for forgiveness. It’s me who should ask it of you. You died for me, gave up the promise of happiness so that I would live. How can you ask whether it was worth it?” Lássira smiled, voice nothing but a whispered emotion, wavering and unsteady. “Time and a world have separated us. I swear it will not happen again.”