“Well, your mom made me try on her wedding veil because she wanted to see me walk down the aisle wearing it. I was wearing those shoes you got me that are a touch too big, and long story short, I slipped out of them when walking, tumbled into a lit candle, and it rolled off the holder and right onto the veil. It caught on fire, and the only reason I still have hair at this point is because Breaker doused me in holy water.”
