How to Read Literature Like a Professor Revised: A Lively and Entertaining Guide to Reading Between the Lines

by Thomas C. Foster

A great deal has been written and said about this group, most of it negative—they don’t read, can’t write, don’t care about the world around them, don’t know anything about history or science or politics or, well, you name it. In other words, the same things that have been said about teenagers since I was one. And for a long time before that. I’m pretty sure that one day we will unearth a clay tablet or a papyrus scroll with those exact sentiments expressed.

My guess is that as long as people act toward their fellows in exploitative and selfish ways, the vampire will be with us.

Shakespeare, then? After all, he’s been the gold standard for allusion for four hundred years and still is. On the other hand, there’s the highbrow issue—he may turn off some readers who feel you’re trying too hard. Plus, his quotes are like eligible persons of the other sex: all the good ones are taken.

Here’s what I think we do: we want strangeness in our stories, but we want familiarity, too. We want a new novel to be not quite like anything we’ve read before. At the same time, we look for it to be sufficiently like other things we’ve read so that we can use those to make sense of it.

Slavery allows its victims no decision-making power over any aspect of their lives, including the decision to live. The lone exception, the only power they have, is that they may choose to die.

One of the pleasures of literary scholarship lies in encountering different and even conflicting interpretations, since the great work allows for a considerable range of possible interpretations.

You can opt for the soft-core approach, describing parts and movements in a haze of breathy metaphors and heroic adverbs: he achingly stroked her quivering skiff as it rode the waves of her desire, etc.

LMAO

It’s unfortunate that genius was harnessed to someone who may not have worn it well.

Time and again, experience has shown that while I might be “just anyone,” I’m definitely not “everyone.”

Your reading should be fun. We only call them literary works. Really, though, it’s all a form of play. So play, Dear Reader, play.