The Cost of Forgetting You

by Hannah Bird

For all the women who had to raise themselves. Who hold the world on their shoulders and their hearts in their hands. This love story is yours.

“Heaven” by Los Lonely Boys. A random run from “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. Finally it fades into the rhythmic tune of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Tears prick my eyes.

You can’t spend your whole life seeing people as their worst mistake. I doubt you’d want to be judged by yours.”

“You were my bright spot. I didn’t like to bring the clouds out when you were around.”

And it’s such a dangerous feeling. Depending on other people.

“I hate that you think so little of my favorite person in the whole world.

At what point do you stop hoping your parents will change and finally start to accept them for who they are? People who are equally as damaged as you, and doubly as set in their ways.

At what point are you justified in saying that their love isn’t worth having if you must cut yourself open and bleed in order to keep it?

Phil Collins. “Against All Odds.”

Guilt is a half-starved rodent crawling around my insides, gnawing at anything it can get its paws on.