The Cost of Forgetting You

by Hannah Bird

Delilah, I have always wanted you with every ounce of my heart, of my body. But kissing you made it unbearable to keep pretending you were only a friend. And then, because of our parents, a friend was all you could be. But even all this time that has passed changed nothing for me. You’re still so impossible to resist.”

“I want you to believe them. I want to embed myself in your heart, become as vital to you as breathing. I’m tired of pretending like I haven’t thought about you every day since you left. To pretend I haven’t imagined you exactly like this.”

“But I needed to let you know how I feel. How I’ve always felt. No more wondering. No more hiding. I said it was a mistake because I knew it felt that way to you, but Delilah? The only mistake I made was not kissing you anyway, Ollie be damned.” He gives me the world’s saddest smile. “There. Now you know everything. The ball is in your court.”

“You can push me away. You can lash out. You can feel whatever you need to feel.” He tips my chin up, brushes his lips featherlight against mine. “But I’m never going to walk away. I’m never going to stop taking care of you. I will prove to you every day that I am this man. That I will not abandon you again.”

“Delilah, the amount of times I’ve thought of you naked in my bed is downright sinful. And yet I’ve never been able to feel the least bit ashamed of it.”

“I hate that you think so little of my favorite person in the whole world. You’re a remarkable little thing, Delilah, and you can’t even see it.”

You can turn tail and run all you want, but I’m not the same scared boy you left behind nine years ago. The one who sat back and let you go without a fight. I’m all grown up. I’m the man who will come for you. Who will find you and bring you home as many times as I have to until you finally realize I’m not giving up on you.”

“You are all I’ve ever wanted, Temptress. You’re every dream I’ve had, every damn hope for my future. Even when I thought you were lost to me, I prayed for you. Swore my soul to whoever would take it if you’d just come back home so I could say I was sorry. Tell you what I’d always known was true but was too scared to say when we were kids. I love you, Delilah. I’m so damn gone for you, it’s insane. You will never be an obligation to me. You’re my whole world.”