Teenagers are trying to figure things out, and the process is usually one of trial and error, mostly error. But my brother and I weren’t given the freedom to make our own choices—or mistakes. Everything from what friends we saw to what shoes we wore was decided by my mother. If I had an idea of my own, my mother’s response was, “You think it’s a good idea, but it’ll turn out badly.” How did that make me feel? Discouraged. Unmotivated. I believed my ideas weren’t good. Worse still, anything I tried to do would have negative consequences. This was the endless loop in my head: You’ll never amount
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