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‘I often find myself questioning the shame that comes along with my desires. Is everyone ashamed and pretending not to be?’
I guess my number one fantasy is to be made to feel like I am utterly desired. Not because it’s just another naked body, but because it’s me and my body.’
If I’m honest, I think there are two sides to me, as perhaps there are to many women: the side that is good at asking for what I want and the side that will concede to my partner’s desires, that is happy to share my innermost urges but only if my partner starts the conversation
Sexual liberation must mean freedom to enjoy sex on our terms, to say what we want, not what we are pressured or believe we are expected to want.
As much as we think of ourselves as powerful, we females are trained to feel shame from the day we are born.
Someone who demands equality in a relationship but whose drive to lessen suffering means a tendency to take on emotional labour to make life easier for others.
A slight disbelief that I could be desired means I fear being the initiator
Sex is anticipation, sex is longing, sex is pain and the baring of years upon years of insecurities and desire,
Someone who is kind in general but specifically wants to be kind to me. The experience of someone liking you so much, sex is the only way to express it.
We are not born with shame, it is something we inherit or learn and its insidious reach can be felt in all aspects of our lives.
Love of my life? Probably. Spark plug of my vagina? Undetermined.
Sometimes I feel invincible to the world, other times I feel the need to be protected.
That fantasy is the one
that makes me feel fucking sick. What does that say about sexuality? About me?
Every successive generation of women has become more independent, but these letters show that, for some, this coexists with a desire to be dependent:
