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This book is dedicated to anyone who ever wanted to bang under a Christmas tree.
“I say holding hands is fine if we’re sitting next to each other on a couch, for instance. But I don’t think we should walk around holding hands. Like, tra-la-la. Aren’t we cute, holding hands, look at us
“Are the pirates here for the cans of soup? I don’t want any hemp. Close the curtains. I can’t take any more flowers after midnight.” I stifle a laugh. Correction: I stifle a laugh badly. Her eyes widen
more, and she blinks off the sleep. Confusion crosses her features even in the darkness, then awareness dawns. “Oh. Sorry. I was having a weird dream.” “Were you hogging all the covers in it?” She glances down, then up at me, inching back a little. “Oops. Guess I was.” “You’re the worst bed hog I’ve ever seen,” I tell her but I’m smiling because finally, fucking finally, I have the cure to my Fable addiction once and for all—she’s a bed
thief, ergo we could never work. I like my bed the way I like it—neat, organized, with just enough blanket for me. This is gre...
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“You do know this is how we started trying to share this bed? We were both under the covers. Then you, my little dragon, stole them all.”

