Never Better... Thanks (Lennox Hills, #3)

by Jahquel J.

I was tired of being one of God’s strongest soldiers. He could take me off this list because I couldn’t figure out what he was trying to teach me.

They both deserved to be happy, and I loved being there for every step of the way. Naturally, I couldn’t help but to question when my time was going to come. I was tired of being alone and sucking it up because these were the cards I had been dealt. I was tired of being strong.

Dating felt like allowing a child to take a sip of your drink. You knew by the time you got your drink back that you would have some shit floating inside the damn drink. It seemed like a good idea when you offered them your drink, but you soon regretted the decision to share the drink in the first place.

I just wanted to fix everyone and be there for them too. When it came to me, I always hid my problems. I never let anyone know that something was wrong in fear that I would look weak.

This wasn’t in the plans we had set for our life, but that’s why we pivot. Plans aren’t ever set in stone,

Something that told me everything would be alright. I would be alright and everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Even if my mother wasn’t here, she was still listening and watching me.

Everyone always said that it would get better, easier, and that was something I highly disagreed with. How did time moving forward without your mother become easier? Every milestone, goal and accomplishment went unseen. I always felt like I was betraying her by continuing to live life without her. So, no, time didn’t make things better. If anything, it showed just how numb of a person I had become without her.

“It’s always like that with men. They will literally chase you, get you and then the allure is gone. We go on their shelf for them to shine up whenever they want.”

Don’t believe that bullshit that it gets easier over time. It never does. You just become stronger.”

“The strongest women are the biggest babies.