Honey & Spice

by Bolu Babalola

Ovulation sometimes makes decisions for you.)

Honestly, why do so many guys mistake vigor for technique? Like, okay, you want me, this much is clear and, frankly, understandable, but what are you going to do with it? Where is the finesse, hon? The clear understanding that you are handling a masterpiece?! You’ve got this far. Appreciate it.

“Kiki, it’s not arrogant to know what you’re good at. It’s arrogant to think you don’t need to grow.

Romance was a waste of time, a form of manipulation utilized by boys who didn’t wash their bedsheets regularly. It existed, sure, but I wasn’t surrounded by anyone I believed engaged in it properly, with respect for the object of affection, rather than a thirst to claim—a triumph of acquisition, rather than a triumph of winning affection.

“I don’t want to give myself to someone who doesn’t know what to do with me. I . . . don’t want to lose myself.”

Your power is in your truth. Stand in yours. Be loud in yours.

“It’s such a miracle that people write songs about it. People pine for it. People get scared and sabotage it. People plead for it back, fists clenched, breaking it down in the middle-eight. Man, I just feel like the whole thing . . . the love thing . . . demands that you’re brave. Seeing people for what they are can be scary, that’s like . . . full investment. Responsibility. You have to care and be committed to the care. And you gotta care even while preparing for the fact that they’re not going to fit into your idea of perfection. Is it worth the risk? I don’t know. Only you can know.”