The Pucking Wrong Man (Pucking Wrong, #4)

by C.R. Jane

He threw the words over his shoulder, his smile reminding me of the Joker’s.

oh jesus christ idk if im ready for this book lmao

“If that popcorn guy passes by Monroe one more time,” Lincoln suddenly growled from my other side. “She doesn’t need any fucking popcorn!”

The circle of trust was...well, I wasn’t quite sure what it was, yet. It seemed to consist of my teammates Lincoln Daniels, Ari Lancaster, and Walker Davis—all stars on the team and in the League—and it seemed to be some kind of group for men scarily obsessed with their girls. But again...I wasn’t quite sure what it really was. I only knew that I kind of wanted in.

No you dont. Run away while you still can.

I grunted as I was body slammed going for the puck. “Your mama hits harder than that,” I gritted out as I gained control of the puck and passed it to Jones. I may be thirty-one years old...but “Yo Mama” jokes definitely still did it for me. Couldn’t get tired of a classic.

Oh goodie

Did I have some sort of problem where I had a compulsive need to help women in distress. Yes. Was I ever going to admit that out loud? No. I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day with that particular personality trait. I had no intention of finding that out for sure, though.

Man learns empathy for the first time and thinks theres something wrong with him. More at 11.

Hopefully I hadn’t screamed too loud. There had been a mom with her two little kids in the cots next to me last night.

Was my life going to be this terrible forever?

I know you dont know what book youre in but I have unfortunate news for you

“Sonic must have known,” she said with a wink, and I did my best not to cry. You weren’t supposed to cry about Sonic.

The dancer’s long, white-blonde hair cascaded down her back, swaying with each graceful movement as if it were a part of the dance itself.

A ballerinas hair would never be down for a performance. Hello?

Instead of dancing to the music, the music was playing for her. Like it was made for her. Or something like that. I’d never been a particularly fancy-worded guy, eloquent I guess was the word? But I was sitting here waxing poetic about this girl like nobody’s business.

She was a fucking masterpiece. I’d never seen anything in my life as beautiful...as perfect as… Fuck! I glanced around, a strange heat clawing up my neck. Everyone was seeing her like this. Everyone was seeing what was mine.

“Are you alright, Camden?” Geraldine’s voice cut through the haze. She’d noticed I was gripping the armrests like I was scared the chair was going to buck me off. And fuck. I was hard. Not just hard, I had an erection that could cut glass.

I quickly tried to conjure up the image of Geraldine’s teeth floating in a water glass, bits of spinach still stuck between the crevices.

I frowned, on second thought, maybe there wasn’t enough security. That angel on the stage probably had rabid fans stalking her everywhere. I would know, I was about to become one of them.

I guess the angel on stage could be a brat...or a bitch... With talent like that, there was usually an ego. I really didn’t fucking care, though. I’d fuck the brat right out of her if I needed to.

Unfortunately, the three hundred followers she had were all men. So, I’d spent thirty minutes reporting all of them—and then reporting her account, too, because it was nothing but a thirst trap for horny assholes. We’d be having a discussion about privacy and who to accept as friends at a later date.

........

I liked single moms with the best of them, but I wasn’t going there. Plus, there was the whole fact that something had happened to my DNA last night, and suddenly, all my dick was attracted to was a ballerina that looked like an angel and danced like sin. For all I knew, she could be a single mom…but for her, I’d go there. I’d let her call me Daddy any day. Alright, crazy. Don’t get a woody in the community kitchen line.

made her appear almost ethereal, a creature born out of my dreams and moonlight⁠— Dreams and moonlight? What was I even saying right now?

Brother idk either dont ask me

She was without a doubt the most drop-dead beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my entire life. No comparison. No question. This girl was the stuff of legends. I had to have her. Alright, play it cool. You’re an NHL studmuffin.

Studmuffin.

She was flawless, stunning, so perfect that she couldn’t possibly be real. There had to be a flaw somewhere. Was there a hairy back hiding under the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing? No. Fuck. She’d been wearing a low-backed spandex looking outfit while she’d performed last night. Definitely no hairy back problems.

There was also the vulnerability in her eyes, it pulled at something inside me. I wanted to protect her. To make her mine. It didn’t matter that I was probably quite a bit older than her. Something told me my baby girl needed that. Besides, as I was constantly telling Logan, our cheeky, arrogant little rookie. I wasn’t an old man. I was seasoned. I could be the best kind of seasoning for her.

Oooh, this man was dangerous. One “baby girl” in that smooth southern drawl, and I was rethinking my whole life...that’s how powerful it was. Especially that word coming from a man who looked like he knew how to take care of someone. His “daddy” energy was off the charts. It made me want to curl up against him and feel him wrap those muscled arms around me protectively.

Mind you less than half a page ago she was all "men are trouble and i should stay away from them, even the hot ones"

I hated bastards who hurt women. I especially hated men who hurt my women.

Mind you she JUST rejected him

No, no. I couldn’t just fucking kidnap her. Yet.

I’d wanted to go in, but I’d figured that showing up at her workplace right after she’d seen me at the kitchen might have sent off stalker signals I wasn’t going for at the moment. I mean, I was her stalker...but I didn’t want her to know that.

At least you're self aware I guess

I couldn’t wait to spoil her. Couldn’t wait to put that dreamy look in her eyes every day because her life was so fucking good. My dick hardened at the thought. I was pretty sure I had some kind of caregiver kink—there

You’re being a dick, a voice whispered in my head, reminding me that I was nice to women—nice to a fault.

According to who???

“Please let me out,” I sobbed as “Gatsby,” Michael’s Doberman, snarled at me from the other side of the cage. Michael had chained him tightly to the cage wall across from me, so he couldn’t quite reach where I was huddled up in the corner...but it was only a matter of time before he let out the chain.

Oh jesus christ

Camden’s thumb wiped a lingering tear from my cheek, and I watched, transfixed as he brought his thumb up to his mouth, his pink tongue darting out to lick the moisture off.

I could've bet you a trillion dollars that this was gonna happen

“I’ll walk you in,” he said, moving to open his door. “That’s okay!” I squeaked. “My neighbor is kind of a psycho. Hears a mouse fart at forty feet. If she hears us, she’ll report me.” OMG. DID I REALLY JUST SAY MOUSE FART?

...............

I ignored the little thrill that came with Lincoln Daniels agreeing with me on...anything.

I forgot they think lincoln is a god among men. Oh brother

“Walker ‘Disney’ Davis,” Ari said threateningly. “Do we really want to talk about dick decorations?”

I'm actually scared bc what is camden going to do that could possibly one up the fucking friendship bracelet beads on walker

The only thing that would’ve made it better was if it said “Mrs. James.” That definitely had a ring to it. Baby steps, though. That would come soon enough.

Mind you this is at 26%

The last notes finally—thankfully—faded, and I lifted my jersey to show off our finishing touches. “Anastasia” was written in paint across my chest—fun

I would go into witness protection

One had been a men’s briefs line, and Camden James had a lot to be cocky about. The size of his cock made sure of that. I honestly didn’t know how he fit it in his pants.

I straightened up, blinking when I saw Camden was at the glass in front of us, staring up at me, his gaze concerned and frustrated. “Are you alright, baby girl?” he mouthed,

Is it too soon to say this would unfortunately work on me

Maybe I should just kidnap her....

I was pretty sure what he was insinuating...and it would mean a place to stay for the night. Really, who needed their virginity anyway?

Now girl.

The thought of her being out on the street for even one minute gave me literal hives. Getting her kicked out of the shelter was a necessity though. She never would have left on her own. I had to put her in a situation where she had to depend on me so I could actually take care of her.

Lincoln’s lips twitched and I studied the star forward. If there ever was a person with Big Dick Energy...it was Lincoln Daniels. Didn’t surprise me at all that he would be a secret psychopath. I’d seen the camera on his phone that appeared to monitor Monroe’s whereabouts. I needed to ask him what app he used as soon as I got Anastasia in my penthouse.

I’d just thrown raw meat into an alleyway to scare a poor girl into moving in with me. I could still picture her panicked eyes the night we’d seen that first dog. How she’d whimpered and held onto me for dear life. And now, here I was siccing her worst fear on her. I’d make it up to her. I knew I would.

Anastasia’s scream tore through the night air. Guilt lurched through me. The only screaming I wanted her to do was in my arms. That didn’t sound much better. Screaming in my arms as she orgasmed. There. That was normal.

Nothing about this is normal!

I closed my eyes, memorizing the feel of her against me, even as I willed my dick to stay down. Nope, it was rising. Fuck.

Mind you she's actively currently crying about losing her housing. Which HE CAUSED DIRECTLY

“If you don’t let me buy my favorite sheets in purple—because that’s your favorite color, I’m going to put you over my knee and spank you because you’re being a brat.”

I'm calling the police.

I opened the closet, peeking inside. She’d left a pair of underwear on the floor and I hesitated once again before grabbing and lifting them to my face. Fuccck. I knew what her pussy tasted like, but the smell of it was almost as good...lock me up now.

You should be arrested

Growling, I flipped over again, wrapping her panties around my cock, using the cotton to jack myself off as I pictured what it would be like to fuck her.

EW!

I came. The hardest orgasm I’d ever had in my life, pumping out in spurts until her panties were soaked and my hands were sticky from the excess.

I just actually gagged

Bringing the panties up to my face I breathed in our combined scents, my dick already hardening again because it was everything I wanted.

EUGH!

I honestly hadn’t known that they made dicks that big. It was like he was carrying a coke bottle between his legs. How did that fit in anyone?

"You're going to be mine, baby. As soon as you bleed all over my dick, you're done. There's never going to be anyone else."

Oh good camden has a virginity kink