Keep Me (Sinful Manor, #1)

by Sara Cate

“You do now, but the novelty will wear off. You’ll get sick of me, or I’ll ask too much, and then you’ll get angry at me. Didn’t you see the way they looked at me, Killian? How could yo...

I just want my wife back.

“Don’t you say that to me again, Sylvie Barclay. I don’t care about some stupid fucking contract. I love you. With my whole fucking chest, I love you. So don’t give me any of that shite about not being your real husband, because I’m right here. And I’ll never fucking leave you, not like they did.”

“So, no one else loves you. Big deal. But I’m here, mo ghràidh. And I am telling you that I will love you enough to make up for all of them. I will keep you, and you can trust me that no matter what you do, I won’t let you go. Because you’re mine, understand me?”

Our own torment blinds us from seeing the torment of others. But now that I truly see my wife, I think I love her even more. “You are a masterpiece, Sylvie,” I whisper against her hair.

“We’re all a mess, but the trick is to find someone who thinks your mess is a masterpiece.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Sylvie.”

“Ready for what?” I reply, although part of me already knows. “Make me yours.”

“Tell me exactly what you want,” I add for clarity.

me. “Make it hurt. I trust you. I just need you to distract me from this pain. Help me le...

And I will be that for her. I will never let my wife feel alone ever again.

Her scream on the seventh brings tears to my eyes. It’s not just that Sylvie is finally letting it all go; it’s that she’s letting me see it. Out of everyone in the world, I’m the one she lets in.

Until him, I didn’t know what that felt like—to be a priority in someone’s life.

In truth, I did fall recklessly in love with him. The hate I once felt never went away—it just changed. The passion is a different color now.

In my head, I just know that if Killian loses it, then I’m lost. He holds us together. He’s our strength, our force, the thing that keeps us together. Without him, I have nothing.

I want him. I want this life that I borrowed.

But the world that exists between him and me is more so. The love we share is infinite.

“I won’t lose my house. You have to leave,” he murmurs, reaching for his drink on the bar. I sprint toward him, grabbing the glass from his hand. “Stop it!”

“What do you want me to do, Sylvie? Everyone I love is trying to hurt me. Nothing I do is ever right, and even if I did keep you, I’d only drag you down with me. And I refuse to do that. So, I think it’s best you just go.” “You don’t mean that,”

“It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever been truly sure.”

“Yes, you can. You can do anything, Sylvie. You once broke into this house. You moved across the world to marry a complete stranger. You turned my entire world upside down, mo ghràidh. You can do just about anything.”

The last moment when I will see him as my husband. The last time I will see him as his wife.

“I’m gonna miss you, my wee little wife,” he whispers in my hair. “Please take care of yourself, you brute,” I reply.

If this is what missing someone feels like, I wish I had never fallen in love with him at all.

Killian wasn’t just my husband for a brief, strange period. He was the first person I ever truly cared about. The first person who loved me for me. The first person it hurt to say goodbye to.

If letting Killian Barclay go is what I have to do for his own good, I’ll do it. “Do you feel different? Now that I’m gone.”

“She lost her mind, but Anna spoke to her. The house is mine, and she can’t take it away.” “Good,”

“I need more time, mo ghràidh. And I can’t ask that from you.”

“I’ll give you whatever you need, Killian. If you tell me you need my help, I’ll help you. If you tell me to wait, I’ll wait. That was the vow we took, remember? It might be over, but I still believe in those words we swore. I’ll do whatever you need because that’s what wives do.”

“Oh, darling,” he replies. “Sylvie, I don’t want you to wait.”

“I need to do this on my own, love,” he continues. “And I’m afraid it might take forever. So, if you want to make me a vow, then promise me that you won’t put your life on hold for me. You’re not coming back to Barclay Manor, and we are not married. Tell me you understand.”

“Please, Sylvie. I need to hear you say it.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

He needs to do this part on his own. He needs to hear my voice and know that I’m here, but also know that he can do it without me.

“Just because I can do it without you doesn’t mean I want to.”

Ironically, I think I’m even more in love with him now, and I can’t even say it.

Deep down, I fight the urge to admit to Killian that missing him and being so far from him is harder than I think I can handle. I want to tell him that I still love him, and no matter how many times he tells me not to wait, I will. I can’t help it. I’ll love him until the day I die. “Sylvie…” he whispers. “Yes?”

“You’re still waiting for me, aren’t you?”

“I will always wait for you.” “I—”

“I have to go,” he replies. “And Sylvie?” “Yeah?” I reply softly. “I’m really proud of you for writing that book.”

“Please, Sylvie. You’re the only person I knew to call. He talks about you so much still, so I knew you would help us. He needs you.”

If my husband needs me, I will be there—every single time.

“Sylvie, you traveled across the world for me, and I kept you secluded in that house for nine long months. I knew that if I was going to make things right, then it was my turn to come to you.

“And when you told me last month that you were waiting for me, I knew what I had to do.”

His kiss feels like crawling back into my own bed after months away. It feels like finding the one other soul on this planet that matches mine. It feels like home.

“I just need you, mo ghràidh,”

“This,” he growls against my sex. “I’ve been dreaming about the taste of your cunt for eight months. This is what I needed.”

“What a wee dirty wife you are,” he grunts, staring down at me with smug pride. “Your dirty wife,” I reply with a sly grin.

“You love your husband’s cock, don’t you?”