Is She Really Going Out with Him?

by Sophie Cousens

He walks past me toward the door, reaching for the handle, then pauses, turning to give me a final withering look. “And, Anna, if I needed to charm you, trust me, I would have.”

I am not twenty-two anymore, and I don’t want to be. I want to sleep in my own bed, in clean sheets, and use my own bathroom. I want to get to bed at a reasonable hour and be able to function in the morning.

Jess looks back and forth between Will and me. I know what she’s thinking, she’s thinking, Why didn’t you tell us about this hot Ken doll you work with?, and I try to communicate with my eyes, “He might look pretty but he’s a pain in the arse.” It’s a lot of nuance for a look.

Bath is a city that feels like a town that acts like a village,

Of all the people to suddenly be attracted to, Will would not be my first choice. I’d be joining the ranks of all the other doe-eyed women in the office who fawn over him; it’s unconscionable. Hopefully in the sober light of day I will see sense, and we can go back to how things were before.

“Sylvie says we should give her valerian and passionflower to help with her moods.” “Is that something prescribed by a doctor or by Game of Thrones?”

On the glass coffee table, Sylvie places a bowl of pistachios and an empty bowl beside it. “For the shells,” she mouths, as though I am a heathen who might be planning to simply slip the shells down the back of their sofa. I set myself a secret challenge to see how many nut shells I can slip down the back of their sofa.

Truly an aspirational level of petty

If purgatory exists, I imagine it’s paved with council complaint forms.

“Oh, what a marvelous lark. Two of the most useful things I ever learned at school, how to rewire a fencing foil and how to dance an eightsome reel.” I get the impression Jonathan and I went to very different schools.

I am not broken. I have loved and I have lost, but my heart still works. There will be other chapters. I will love again. Because—whatever the fallout—to feel like this about someone, to see and be seen so entirely, it is worth any risk.

“Anna. I’ve been traveling for seven hours. I bought a tux at King’s Cross station. I haven’t thought beyond getting here and making sure you know that I’m in love with you. Whatever the future has in store, I know I want you in mine. As for the rest, well, as the saying goes, que será, será.”