“All the books were beginning to turn against me,” Lewis wrote of this discomfort. “Indeed, I must have been blind as a bat not to have seen, long before, the ludicrous contradiction between my theory of life and my actual experiences as a reader.” Not yet taking what would seem the obvious next step of giving this faith of those who he respected a thorough and immediate investigation, Lewis did begin to allow himself to be labeled a theist, as one who believed that the great absolute mind behind all the universe might indeed be a God of sorts. He still was not at all keen at allowing that
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