The Real Glow Up

by Chelsey Armfield

I mistook the harmful criticism for tough love.

Without setting healthy boundaries, you are subjecting yourself to unnecessary stress and anguish.

For those on the receiving end, boundaries can feel like abandonment to people with unhealthy attachment issues (you might even relate).

Your worth is not something you need to earn; it is inherent and never leaves you.

In one sense, unprocessed trauma becomes a weed. It spreads, takes over, and prevents healthy growth.

“Feel your messy feelings. Show yourself compassion. Let those feelings go. And feel way lighter and healthier by doing so.”

I typically reserve about ten minutes at night to plug in my headphones and meditate before I fall asleep. This helps me tune into myself and let go of the day rather than ruminate on what could have been done better.

If they meet you with a defensive attitude, blaming you for being sensitive or overreacting (or even just implying it with a judgmental look), you just learned a whole lot about this relationship. This person doesn’t care for you and respect you the way you thought they did, no matter how many kind things they occasionally do for you in the mix (which can certainly be confusing to process). You simply cannot afford to ignore the little things, because they can be extremely telling, and when you add them up, you’ll see the impact is bigger than you realize. Please pay attention to how the people in your life make you feel, and please have enough self-respect to create a healthy distance from those people who make you doubt yourself on a regular basis.

Another thing I find important to suggest is to not be so quick to judge someone else’s health journey or body size. There are so many factors that contribute to someone’s body type (big or small), and nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Not to mention, it’s not your business anyway. You don’t know if someone has a medical condition, has experienced or is experiencing severe trauma, struggles with an eating disorder, or is going through a difficult phase of life. I challenge you to remain open-minded about how you see people: see them as the person they are, and focus less on their physical aesthetic.