I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist (I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki)

by Baek Se-hee

When it rains we put on raincoats or open an umbrella, but when it’s really storming and blowing, none of that is effective anymore and we have to seek shelter.

But most people would’ve done what you did in the interview. They would’ve tried to make the best out of an uncomfortable situation. Being an adult is less about acting exactly the way you want just because you can, and more about trying to be patient in the midst of an infuriating situation.

Psychiatrist:But when such a person treated you in a way that made you feel looked down upon for being young, you still managed to keep your composure and maintain civility. It’s not like you need to ever deal with him again for the rest of your life. You did what you were supposed to do and you did it well, but here you are castigating yourself for not expressing your emotions in the moment (flying into a rage), I just don’t think that’s fair on you.

when you grow older, you might even understand the seemingly cowardly act of compromise.

I now know how to blame others for their wrongs. I can think, I refuse to destroy myself because of something you did. I’m more aware than ever that my life and my self are not so worthy of contempt.

IT’S NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE LIVED MY LIFE