Snapshot

by Kay Cove

This one is for every single woman who was told to calm down, stop meddling, take up less space, and be a little quieter… Here’s a bullhorn. Use it often.

“No, Mom,” I grumble. “It was actually very necessary. It helped me pull my head out of my ass. I’m not going to spend one more minute at a job that cares more about metrics than their employees getting bullied and harassed. It’s

not only today. I have a dozen stories just like it. Every single day, I’m getting metaphorically spit on and slapped in the face. I’ll work the long hours. I’ll come in on weekends. I’ll even scrub toilets. But I’m not going to work a job where I’m not respected like a goddamn human being should be.”

I married him because I love him… Also, a little bit for his body, because your dad”—Mom breathes out a low whistle— “is sexy.” She pumps her eyebrows twice. I glower at her as she snickers at my discomfort. “I would endure a lobotomy to unhear that.”

“Just tell me that you’re the kind of guy to ignore texts and only call me when you want some ass. And if I have the nerve to call you first when I haven’t heard from you for weeks, please tell me you’d tease me for being needy.”

I cross my arms. “Now, why in the hell would I ever tell you that?” A mischievous grin spreads across her face. “Because then you’d be exactly my type.”

She half-curtsies. “My superpower is knowing how to pick th...

when it comes to ...

“Sometimes if you pretend like something isn’t a big deal, it eventually just stops feeling like a big deal. It’s the only coping mechanism that’s ever worked for me.”

I needed her friendship so much more than I needed to fuck her, so I had no choice but to keep the boundaries in place. There’s no faster way to lose a friend than getting sex, feelings, and money involved.

Lennox is, of course, the exception. She met Grandma once a few years ago. Just one dinner, but they bonded so quickly. They both understood how much the other means to me. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to tell Lennox about my loss.

“Hm,” she says, her tone unmistakably peeved.

“What does ‘hm’ mean?” “Funny that you think your hot tub is what I’ll miss.”

Only Lennox could get a gang of late-aged, tattooed bikers doing the electric slide and drinking razzle dazzle cocktails. It’s her superpower. She can make friends with anybody, anywhere. Her spirit is contagious.

“Good, then I’m fine. My bullshit doesn’t matter tonight. I came out to cheer Lennox up. She’s just gone through hell—got fired, went through a breakup, lost her apartment. She has no job, no money, nowhere to live. She really needs someone to cut her a break right now⁠—” My heart jolts so hard that, at first, I’m worried I’m on the brink of a panic attack. But my breath is steady. My head is clear. In fact, I’m

thinking more clearly than I have been in a while.

“No one offered this,” he mumbles into my neck. “What’s that?” I ask. My face is buried into his pec, and screw it, I breathe him in. I breathe him the fuck in and let my legs go completely numb. Just one tiny moment. This moment belongs to me. “Endless handshakes, pats on the back, and goddamn, do elderly people love to brush fictitious crumbs off your shoulders…but no one hugged me. Think about that. My grandma died, and no one offered me a hug. Until you. Thank you,” Dex says against my ear.

It literally feels like the air is sucked out of my lungs. I try to inhale, but nothing happens. “This is?” I ask, somehow managing the two words through my breathlessness. “From the first time we met. My souvenir,” he says.

They judge my worth by what I can or can’t do for them. I’ve had disposable relationships my whole life until you. I think you were the first person to…” He shrugs. “Like you for you?” I offer. Nodding, he says, “Something like that. I guess I wanted to keep things simple between us to keep our relationship safe. Losing you just wasn’t an option for me. I’m sorry I was dishonest.”

My smile grows and I feel the warmth I always do around Lennox. She’s a twenty-seven-year-old temp, but she doesn’t see her superpower. A fancy career or degree isn’t necessary. She’s already got everything she needs to be okay. Lennox, with her sassy outfits and purple hair, is always the wisest person in the room. The world just needs to listen.

“Trouble…my heart stops every time you walk into a room. I am fucking obsessed with you. I have been from the very first moment you showed up at my bedroom door and gave me that ten-dollar bill.”

“I can handle it, Dex. All your sides. I’ll be right next to you for all of it.” “Promise?” he asks. “Promise.”

We said, ‘I do,’ and then you pecked me on the cheek.” “I was trying to maintain boundaries,” he answers defensively. “I didn’t know what you wanted.” I grab his shirt and tighten my fist, pulling him closer. “You. For three fucking years, Dex. You.”

“The times I feel lost in myself, I think about you. Every time I have a good dream, it’s about you. When I don’t know where I belong, you remind me.”

“Have you ever met someone who tethers you to the earth? All those times before when I wanted a different life… I don’t know. She helps me see the world differently. I like her reality better than my own.”

“She’s a ferocious little thing. She’s so honest and earnest. Heart wide open all the time. She’s a philosophical genius and doesn’t even know it. Unlike the rest of us, it doesn’t seem like she’s alive to accomplish or acquire anything. She

just exists to get to know the best version of herself. She’s brave because she’s completely unashamed to admit when she’s scared. Her honesty is addicting. I don’t know how to explain it…she’s changing my mind about everything. Maybe changing my heart.”

That kind that gives you no choice in the matter. Jacob once told me that love is an innate force beyond our will and comprehension. It’s how the universe humbles the stubborn human race, hellbent on forging destructive new paths. Love is how the universe stays in control

that and accept it. Others ignore it and let it slip right by, living half-lives.

“Dex Hessler, we were never friends. We were just waiting.” “Waiting for what?” he asks. “I have no idea. Something big.”

“No one’s ever touched me like you do. I come at the mere thought of you. Stop being jealous, Dex. I’ve been yours since the very moment we met. And now that we’ve established that, you can have what’s yours, however you want.”

“I’m done with the jealousy, Lennox. If I ever find out you’re thinking about another man, I won’t end us. I’ll end him. Don’t ever make me miss you again. Do you understand?”

“I appreciate your kinky spirit, Trouble, but I’m here to pleasure and protect you. Not to traumatize you, sweet wife. I can make you feel so fucking alive without the welts and bruises.

“Leadership is less about what’s in your head and more about what’s in your heart. Business can be learned, but a cold heart will starve potential every single time. You have the best heart, Len. That’s all you need.”

Lennox still doesn’t have a full grasp on how much power I have. How much power she now has. I don’t think she’d care though. It’s my favorite part of her. We could be happy together with absolutely nothing. That’s the kind of love Grandma wanted for me. The kind that withstands all the changes and challenges. She knew from the moment she met Lennox what I wanted. I was too stubborn and distracted to move my feet, so she had to force my hand. Thank you, Grandma.

“It’s something my dad would tell me… He had a lot of wealthy clients who had personal staff. He said that the less people did for themselves, the more they lost their identity. So, if I’m not choosing

my clothes, cooking my food, taking care of my home, and earning my money…I’m not really living. Right? I’m just existing.”

“He doesn’t deserve you, Lenny. None of us do. You kept this family together when I failed to. When I was weak, you were strong.”

“I don’t like big concerts. As much as I love to see the hyped-up world tours, I can’t stand having to watch the performance with a slight lag on the jumbotron. Bless Taylor Swift’s soul for putting that performance on TV. I don’t want to spend my life savings watching an ant in a sparkly leotard from 100 yards away. Now, if she was performing on a cruise, it’d feel so much more intimate…a once in a lifetime experience. I’d pay top dollar for that.”

“I hope that you’re happy Dex chose me. I promise you, Dottie, I’ll take good care of him. I love him.” I wave my hand around the office, gesturing to the luxury finishings. “Not for any of this, but I fell for him because…”

“Everything else in my life can break and shatter…except us. You’re my priority, Lennox. It’s as simple as that. I’ll get rid of anyone who threatens my happily ever after.”

“Lennox, it’s been so much longer than two weeks. I think I missed you before I even knew you. If I hadn’t met you, I’m convinced I would’ve ended up alone. You have no idea the hold you have on me. I needed us to start as friends, otherwise, I would’ve called your power over me straight-up sorcery.”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “But you know what I do know?” “What’s that?” I smile at him. “I love you, Dex. With my whole heart. Always have, always will.”

I never needed a business guru of a wife. I just wanted someone who sticks by me even in the worst of times. I wanted a partner… My best friend. You’ve been so patient with me for three years when I was denying how much I actually wanted you. Even more so since we got to Miami and I left you alone. I’m not angry. I’m just grateful you’re still here.”

“Because I don’t want to waste away in an office like Grandma and Harrison. I also don’t want to lose you like Jacob lost Grandma. I want to see you every day I’m alive. I want to be there for our future kids and have priorities that matter. After forty years of marriage, I don’t want to be writing apology letters to you as you pine for another man. I refuse to let the woman I love live a lonely life.”