Snapshot

by Kay Cove

This one is for every single woman who was told to calm down, stop meddling, take up less space, and be a little quieter… Here’s a bullhorn. Use it often.

The constant gnawing ache in my chest, knowing my whole life has been spent regretting one foolish decision.

Dex would’ve outshone the rest. He was always destined to be my favorite.

Letters are for lost apologies.” Don’t I know. It’s why I write so many.

But I committed the ultimate crime. Grounds for immediate dismissal. There was no exit interview, no severance, no mercy. All I did was hang up on a customer.

If you can survive that hellacious year of verbal lashings and abuse, all of your dreams can come true… If your dreams are middle management at an insurance company, that is.

Mom shakes her head like my question is silly. “Honey, marriage is so much more than paperwork. I’m committed to your father—his mistakes, his burdens, his pain. They are mine as well. I’m not going to walk away from my commitment just because it’s financially convenient to do so. I didn’t marry your father for what he could give me. I married him because I love him… Also, a little bit for his body, because your dad”—Mom breathes out a low whistle— “is sexy.” She pumps her eyebrows twice.

“I would endure a lobotomy to unhear that.”

My wildly unrealistic expectation of men is because of my stupid parents and their ridiculously healthy marriage. I blame my mother one thousand percent for all of my breakups. She’s the one who taught me to walk away at the first sign of disrespect, never forgive a cheater, and not tolerate a man who constantly talks over me.

“Sometimes if you pretend like something isn’t a big deal, it eventually just stops feeling like a big deal. It’s the only coping mechanism that’s ever worked for me.” “So he just gets away with it?” I ask.

Oh, I’m definitely in trouble. He’s so sexy. So flirty. Funny. Protective. Charming. Sexy again. I just want to rub up against his body like a cat and make him my favorite scratching post.

My top five worst fears go like this: One, getting eaten by a shark. Two, getting bitten by a shark and then bleeding to death in the ocean. Three, being pulled to the ocean floor by a giant octopus and being squeezed to death. Four, getting eaten by a shark again. Five, getting mistaken for a seal and an orca crushing my bones like I’m a doggie chew toy.

Same girl!

Alan lets out a low hum, a sheepish, satisfied smile on his face. “I think that was our best sex ever.” “Definitely.” Liar. I silently scold myself. Just tell him the truth. He’s sweet, handsome, polite…and has never once given you an orgasm.

Okay, this is actually a good first step to opening this conversation. I won’t tell him about the leather cuffs and anal beads I have in the back of my closet yet, but I can tell him I am a sucker for cutesy names.

I hate having sex under the covers. It’s like trying to fuck in a straightjacket.

When you’re sharing your body with someone you trust, it should feel like a playground.

skyline, I breathe out and feel the pressure in my chest lessen. I always feel better when my mind is on Lennox.

Three years ago, when the quirky showstopper with purple hair appeared at my bedroom door, trying to contribute to a pitch jar, I sucked in a breath I’ve been holding ever since. I’ve held on to Lennox like a troll does its treasure. I keep her close however I can. For us, that means friendship. It’s not like I’m not torturously tempted to yank her long hair back, tear her eccentric little outfits off, and bend her naked body over whatever surface she’d let me. I’d show her what all these clowns she dates are lacking. But Lennox has something I’ve never encountered before. She’s genuine. Full of raw honesty and good intentions. It fuels me in the best way. The moment I was ready to give up on people, Lennox gave me hope. She excavated a side of me I was trying to bury. I needed her friendship so much more than I needed to fuck her, so I had no choice but to keep the boundaries in place.

“So, what are your next steps?” I ask her. “Well, step one is canceling trips that are now out of my budget,” she says. I exhale into the phone. “I’d offer to pay for you, but Pocket Protectors probably wouldn’t appreciate that very much.” “Don’t call Alan that,” she scolds me.

She also has an irrational fear of being squashed between two whales like getting sandwiched between two semi-trucks. Not a completely inaccurate analogy.

Just be a good person, and I’ll be one right back. It’s not that hard.

“Once you know real grief, trauma, or betrayal, you can’t go back to living in a world where that doesn’t exist.”

“Trouble…my heart stops every time you walk into a room. I am fucking obsessed with you.

Hooking my finger under her chin, I tilt her gaze up to mine. “I have every intention of being your last.” Wedging my hand between her thighs, I cup her sex. “This is for me and only me moving forward. I want you bare.”

Daisies, daisies, daisies, They follow me into the ocean. They haunt my sweetest dreams. My heart is detached from my body, lying in a field of white flowers. A long, full life is a curse. Every single breath that staves off death keeps me away from you. Pink lips. Rosy cheeks. I let you go in this life. But you’re mine in the next. I promise.

love is an innate force beyond our will and comprehension. It’s how the universe humbles the stubborn human race, hellbent on forging destructive new paths. Love is how the universe stays in control of our fates. Some people can see that and accept it. Others ignore it and let it slip right by, living half-lives.

Harrison had an affair.

Denny???????????

I think I missed you before I even knew you. If I hadn’t met you, I’m convinced I would’ve ended up alone. You have no idea the hold you have on me. I needed us to start as friends, otherwise, I would’ve called your power over me straight-up sorcery.”

Smack. I clench my toes when Dex’s palm collides with my ass. I’m going to come just like this—wrists bound, bare breasts smashed against the desk, my panties pulled down around my ankles.

He leans over me from behind, one hand wrapping around my throat. He doesn’t squeeze hard, just a little pressure as he whispers into my ear, “You messed up. But you’re my wife, and you have my loyalty in all things. So, when I punish you, it’s not because I’m angry. It’s because you love it.”

“Mmm,” he moans into my ear. “I fucking love you.” “I love you too. Now, fuck me like you’re trying to break me.”