“I’d offer to pay for you, but Pocket Protectors probably wouldn’t appreciate that very much.” “Don’t call Alan that,” she scolds me. “What?” I ask defensively. “You call him that.” “When I call him that, it’s a playful term of endearment. When you call him that, you’re making fun of him.” I hate Alan more than all of Lennox’s other past boyfriends. She’s had a slew of dalliances since I passed on my tiny window of opportunity three years ago. She’s always capturing some guy’s attention or another. But they end up disappointing her quickly and never last long. Alan is different. Not her usual
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