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“If the invitation was open…” My eyes drop to her stained bra top. “Then I’d tell you to take that off. Your shorts, too. Then get in my shower while I watch.”
“Yeah, I’m trouble. Feel free to kick me out.” His laugh tapers off to a breathy chuckle. “No, Trouble, that’s okay. I think I’ll keep you. I’ll leave you to shower in peace.
I feel like I was pretty clear. I don’t like the ocean and I don’t want to get scuba certified. My top five worst fears go like this: One, getting eaten by a shark. Two, getting bitten by a shark and then bleeding to death in the ocean. Three, being pulled to the ocean floor by a giant octopus and being squeezed to death. Four, getting eaten by a shark again. Five, getting mistaken for a seal and an orca crushing my bones like I’m a doggie chew toy.
“You can’t let irrational fear keep you out of the ocean.” “Oh, I can. And I do.”
“No college degree, has never kept a full-time job for more than a few months, hates numbers and metrics, and has the attention span of one of the little fish in your tanks…so, yeah, twenty bucks an hour is solid. But money isn’t the want I’m talking about anyway.”
She roars in laughter. There it is. My favorite sound.
For fuck’s sake. Some random dude stole my girl with a piece of fruit.
I want to smack him when he acts like this. It’s frustrating when he doesn’t understand how reckless his touches are. This is why I’m accidentally mumbling the wrong man’s name when I’m using my vibrator.
“You’re not really a hugger.” He stares at me, eyes wide and pleading like I’m missing the obvious punch line of a joke. “I’m a hugger, Lennox. You just never offer. In fact, you usually treat me like I’m contagious. I always assumed it was out of respect for whoever you’re dating.” Incorrect. It’s actually because I see his face almost every time I come, so I’m trying hard not to blur even more lines by touching him too much.
“I’m sorry. The whole point of resisting you was to not make your life so messy. But shit, since I’m screwing everything up for you anyway, might as well dive in.”
If we’ve been feeling the same way for three years… What the hell, man? And then why is he telling me all of this now? Is it possible he’s been holding back his feelings, too?
“Wait,” I say with a chuckle. “You’re not giving it back? I could use ten dollars. You clearly don’t need it.” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “No. Sorry. You can have literally any bill in my bank account except that one. It means way too much to me.”
All you have to do is figure out what you want from your life.” “That’s sort of the problem.”
Lennox should be mine. She’s actually moments away from being mine. Those lips belong to me. I lean in a little closer as I decide consequences be damned…I have to taste them—
“Trouble…my heart stops every time you walk into a room. I am fucking obsessed with you. I have been from the very first moment you showed up at my bedroom door and gave me that ten-dollar bill.” He reaches out to cup my cheek, running his thumb along my bottom lip. “But how do we make sense? My destiny is everything you despise. I didn’t know how else to keep you close except with…lies.”
“I didn’t know what you wanted.” I grab his shirt and tighten my fist, pulling him closer. “You. For three fucking years, Dex. You.”
Dex I’m not waiting one more night for your sweet pussy, Lennox. You’re my wife. All mine. I’ll have you when I want, where I want. Clear?
“I have every intention of being your last.” Wedging my hand between her thighs, I cup her sex. “This is for me and only me moving forward. I want you bare.”
“Does that feel like six inches to you?” “Maybe a little more,” she moans. “Maybe a lot more.” Bucking my hips, I give her my full length, enjoying the sound
Grandma sets her wine glass down. “You love her.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“She’s a ferocious little thing. She’s so honest and earnest. Heart wide open all the time. She’s a philosophical genius and doesn’t even know it. Unlike the rest of us, it doesn’t seem like she’s alive to accomplish or acquire anything. She just exists to get to know the best version of herself. She’s brave because she’s completely unashamed to admit when she’s scared. Her honesty is addicting. I don’t know how to explain it…she’s changing my mind about everything. Maybe changing my heart.”
Love, love, love. Fight for it. Obsess over it.
“Ah, here,” I say, finding the image that’s paperclipped to a folded-up piece of paper. I carefully detach the flimsy half-picture of a woman sitting on a dock. Her back is turned, so all you can see is her feminine silhouette and long, dark hair hanging in a thick braid down her back. “Be careful, it’s delicate,” I say, handing the photo to Dottie. “My cousin Finn has access to the photo lab at UNLV, and he said he could restore it. But it'd be so much better if we had the other half.”
I let you go in this life. But you’re mine in the next. I promise.
love is an innate force beyond our will and comprehension. It’s how the universe humbles the stubborn human race, hellbent on forging destructive new paths. Love is how the universe stays in control of our fates. Some people can see that and accept it. Others ignore it and let it slip right by, living half-lives.