Not Made to Last

by Jay McLean

I wish I could take my own life and not care how much it would hurt my family.

Tired. And not just from lack of sleep. But tired from life.

She wanted a daily reminder that she was nothing more than a single object amongst millions of other things. Things so small and insignificant…. She felt like if she gave herself more importance than that, then she’d be forced to believe that these things happen for a reason. To her. And then she’ll take things personally.”

“Most people spend their entire lives searching for their soul mate, all so they can fall in love.”

“I love you, Rhys Garrett,” she says, and it’s more than just words. It’s a declaration. “And I’ll make you believe me again. But more, I’ll make you believe in me. Even if it takes another three years. Hell, even if it takes the rest of my life.”

“He’d be the luckiest guy on earth to be at the receiving end of your love. It’s his loss.”

But I can’t drown, I remind myself. Every breath I take is for her. And the more breaths I take, the more I get to float.

“I made you a promise,” I croak, my words finally audible. “You breathe, I breathe.”

I’ll wait for an eternity for my hope to arrive.

“I’m sorry, baby.” “I don’t want you to be sorry,” I cry. “I just want you to be.”

“You saved me, more times than you even know… Every time I felt that darkness creeping in, I picked up my phone and you were there. Always.

It’s just after 3 a.m. now and the house is quiet, but the thoughts inside my head are screaming so loud that I can’t lie still.

He has better things to do than steal your shit! Now take down that fucking post, or I’m going to come back here, fuck your husband, and give him a kid he’s actually proud of!’”

“I wanted us to be exactly where we were when my life changed forever. We were right here when I asked you for your name, and you said it was Olivia… but all I heard was Liv… and every day since, that’s all I’ve wanted to do… Live.”