Release Me (New Haven Series #3)

by J.L. Seegars

have questions about her soul. About the pain it holds and the joy it might find intertwined with mine. I have thoughts in my mind I only want to share with her. Secrets I don’t even know yet that can only be heard by her ears and seen by her eyes.

“Which part of what happened this weekend bothers you more? The violence or the fact that it was done in your name? Because I can promise you that I’ll never be violent towards you, but I can’t say that I’ll never be violent for you.”

I got lucky, and I won’t ever forget that.” “What brought it on?”

“Because I know you’re not ready for the things I want from you, and I don’t want to be sitting in front of my parents and siblings when you shut me out again.”

“You seem to be under the impression that you’re not the most precious thing in my life. There is no end to the list of things I want to have with you and give to you, chief among them is time. Time to heal. Time to trust. Time to prepare your heart for what mine wants to ask of it.” The pad of his thumb swipes over my bottom lip, and he drops my gaze to trace the motion with his eyes. “How could you ever think I don’t want you around after all the things I’ve done to keep you in my orbit?”

saved yourself. You didn’t need me then, and you don’t need me now, but I want you to want me.”

don’t pray, Sebastian,” I blurt out, needing to say something, to lay some part of myself bare to him as a means of reciprocation for his vulnerability. “I don’t pray, but on the rare occasion I find myself in conversation with God, I talk to him about you. Even before we were us, I spoke your name to Him, submitted it to the heavens at the top of a list of the few things in this world I’m thankful for. I don’t believe or trust in anything, but I trust you. I believe in you. And I know that maybe that’s not enough—” my voice shakes and all my words disappear.

see the hurt and traumatized woman lurking in the shadows of your eyes, and I love her. I see the woman I’ll build a future with, and I love her. I see my wife, the mother of my kids, the partner I’ll trust with everything and deprive of nothing, and I love her. I love you. I know everything there is to know about you, and what I don’t know I’ll learn. You don’t have to run from me, Nadia, and you don’t have to be scared. I don’t just want the polished, perfect version of you. I want the broken one too. I want every version of you because every version of you belongs with me.”