Fall with Me (Playing for Keeps, #4)

by Becka Mack

“I can’t wait to see you again so I can eat your sweet cunt, then make you taste your own honey from my lips.” Sweet baby Jesus, my soul has left my body.

“I’ll wait, Jaxon. I don’t care how long. Because this? This is a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. You’re a once-in-a-lifetime find. I’m not walking away.”

And yes, I was being selfish when I left. But I didn’t abandon anyone. I left, after talking with my family, because staying wasn’t a choice that served me. I was selfish, because for once in my life I had to be in order to give myself the love I deserved. Because I deserved better than what you gave me. I deserved loyalty and communication. I deserved support for my dreams and someone who showed up for me when they promised they would. I deserved love, Ryne, and I deserved better.”

“You don’t get to show up here after all the ways you failed her and act like you deserve any place in her life,” Jaxon tells him, the quiet words firm and final. “You had one job in your relationship, and it was to love her. You failed. You failed to respect her, to listen to her, to root for her. You failed to be her friend, and you failed to be her partner. Day after day, you fucking failed her. And you don’t get to show up here now and pretend like you deserve even the consideration of a second chance.”

Because that’s what a partner does, isn’t it? Reminds you you’re worth it on the days you feel like you aren’t.

“You want me to beg you to stay? To tell you how badly I wanna be the one who reminds you how much Advil to take, massages your back when you’ve got your period? The one who makes a detailed instruction manual for your favorite lattes, but makes them for you anyway when I wake up first? The one who puts your favorite flowers on the kitchen counter every week just to see you smile, who does your hair routine when you’ve had a shitty day and aren’t up for it? You want me to tell you how I wanna be the one sitting next to you on the couch while you show off all the pictures you took that day, listen to you talk about your favorite ones, smile at the way you you trip over your words because you’re so excited, so damn in love with your dream? That I wanna be the one who drives you out to the middle of nowhere at midnight just to fucking stare at you while you stare at the stars, because somehow, in this whole huge world, I got lucky enough to find you, not once, but twice? You want me to ask you to stay, Lennon? To tell you I’m in love with you?”

Kissing Lennon is like that first sip of coffee on a cold winter morning. She’s everything warm and rich, this cozy feeling that sinks into your bones, settles all your racing thoughts. She wakes me up, slow and steady, chases away the fog, makes me feel ready to take on the toughest parts of my day.

“You know what they say. One woman’s anklet is the right man’s necklace.”

“Do you know what I feel when I look at the stars? I feel love. I feel at peace. I feel at home, honey. That’s what I found in the stars. I found my home.”