Fall with Me (Playing for Keeps, #4)

by Becka Mack

“Ditch the fucking ring,” he whispers against my lips, and the second that platinum band princess cut diamond is skipping over the ceramic tiles, his mouth is on mine.

“I’m gonna fuck you the way a bride deserves to be fucked on her honeymoon, and when I’m done, you’re going to thank me and ask for more.” He whips his belt free from his shorts. “Got it?” I swallow. “Got it.” “Good girl. Now take off those panties and show me how badly your pussy wants my cock, honey.”

“If you were my bride, I’d fuck you like you were my lifeline. I’d eat your pussy like it was my last meal, and I’d drive myself inside you over and over again, like you were the only place I’d find my salvation.”

“If you were my bride, Lennon, I’d have spent the week worshiping you. We’ve missed a few days, but that’s okay. I’m gonna worship you now, and I’ll do it until you can’t remember your own name. Do you want that, honey? You wanna be worshiped?”

“Look at me,” I demand, but she shakes her head. “Lennon.” “You’re gonna fall in love with me.” I snort a laugh, my grip on her hips tightening. “Okay.” “It’s true. I saw it in your eyes. You’re an open book.”

“What will you call me tomorrow when you forget my name?” I crack my lids, sifting through the dark room. It smells like sex in here, which is exactly the way every honeymoon suite should smell. “Wife.” “You wish, fuckboy.”

I hate you, but I love your cock. Thanks for letting me ride it. Bye, Jason.

One thing about me? I’m gonna serenade my cat every chance I get so he knows how much I love him. “Silly kitty, chunky kitty, I kiss your tiny nose. Fluffy kitty, handsome kitty, I love your extra toes.”

as I walk my date to the elevator, and then Mittens drapes himself over my shoulders on the couch and bops the shit out of my jaw with his cute little head while we eat snacks and watch One Tree Hill reruns.

“Bye, Jason. It’s been a time.”

“C’mon, honey,” he murmurs, the soft words carrying across the frigid air, warming parts of me that have no business being warmed. He holds his hand out to me. “Get in the fucking car.”

“You can be as vague or detailed as you like. Tell it to me in a few words or a lot of words. I don’t care, honey, just say it. And when you’re done, I’ll treat you the way he didn’t. Give you what he wouldn’t. Fuck you the way he couldn’t.”

“I don’t need you to be kind to me. I need you to take what you want, everything you’ve been too afraid to ask for. I’ll give it to you.”

Jaxon wrapped my hair before bed.

“I’m such a slut for displays of violence, and I don’t even know why. And when Emmett comes home with a black eye or a split lip?” She whistles. “Bend me over, slap my ass, and fuck the feminist right out of me, you know?”

“Good girl, honey.”

“Mmm. Don’t know if I like you in your shorts more, or my pants. One screams easy access.” My throat dries. “And the other?” Playful eyes coast to mine, a lazy, arrogant smile pulling up on one side. “The other screams mine.”

Never been a jealous man, but honey, you got me all kinds of possessive. This pussy is mine. This ass is mine. These perfect tits. This fucking mouth? Fucking mine, honey. And I’m not fucking sharing.”

And when you find the telescope you’ve been asking for waiting for you beneath your bedroom window, you don’t even try to stop the tears from coming. And all that lost hope? It comes rushing right back, and you stand there, open your arms, and soak it all in.

His head swung around so hard on the single punch he took, I was certain he wouldn’t remember my name after the game. Then he laid the other guy out, spat the blood from his mouth, and winked at me as he skated to the penalty box, because heaven forbid he finish the regular season without another penalty.

“My gran once told me that we become stars when we die. That the people we love and lose are set free in the sky, where no one can dull their light.” He swallows. “And they shine bright so . . . so we know they’re still with us. That they’re looking over us.”

“That’s Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. When you’re looking for Bryce in the stars, look there. He’ll light even the darkest nights.”

“You give me a lot of you, Lennon. I think I admire that about you. Shitty things have happened, and instead of holding them in and letting them eat you from the inside out, you talk about them. I think that gives you some sort of power of the situation, you know? Anyway, I just …” He shifts his beanie up, runs his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to give you some of me too. And that story … I haven’t shared it with anyone but the therapist I saw back then. I’ve never wanted to share it with anyone. Until …”

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that this man sees me. He hears me. He knows me. He makes me feel happy. Safe. Valued. He makes me feel capable. And that right there? That’s a powerful, magnificent feeling.

Jesus, smiling isn’t the right word, is it? It’s not enough. I’m looking at her like . . . I’m looking at her like she’s the sunset, and I’m seeing it in color for the very first time. That’s how I’m looking at her.

I don’t understand how something so quiet can feel so fucking loud. It’s earsplitting, and I hate every second of it.

It’d been so long since I felt like I really belonged anywhere. Since I’d really, truly allowed myself to be happy. There was no choice when she came along. All that happiness? It just . . . was. It existed, and I lived in it.

But I don’t want to fall alone. I want her to fall with me.

And, honey? I like me a whole lot better with you here too.”

“I don’t know if I liked being alone before you, but it was comfortable. I got used to the quiet. Felt like I belonged in it. But now, without you . . . I fucking hate the silence, Lennon.”

“Looking at you, knowing you exist in my world, that you could be mine one day and gone the next, is the most overwhelming thing I’ve ever felt.”

“The best thing I’ve ever gifted to myself is, by far, the way I feel with you in my arms.”

“You’re the only person whose opinion of yourself matters, Jaxon. Stop worrying about being enough for other people. Be enough for yourself.”

“She said I should give Ryne a second chance.” “I think the fuck not, darling.”

“I’ll wait, Jaxon. I don’t care how long. Because this? This is a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. You’re a once-in-a-lifetime find. I’m not walking away.”

“You had one job in your relationship, and it was to love her. You failed. You failed to respect her, to listen to her, to root for her. You failed to be her friend, and you failed to be her partner. Day after day, you fucking failed her. And you don’t get to show up here now and pretend like you deserve even the consideration of a second chance.”

“Here it is, honey. I love you. I am so goddamn, mind-blowingly in love with you, and the thought of losing you is killing me. I don’t want you to go. This place only feels like a home when you’re here.” I whisper my final plea. “Please, honey. Please stay.”

“There is no one alive who could love me better than you do, Jaxon. You love me the way I always dreamed of being loved. The way I deserve to be loved. And I’m going to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“Thank you for falling with me. I don’t think I could’ve survived falling alone.”

Love feels like looking at you and not understanding how something as beautiful as everything you are exists, but just accepting that it does, because a world without you means a world without light.”

“Life’s been beautiful since you walked into it, Lennon. Doesn’t matter what it looks like, because through it all, I’m only gonna be looking at you.”

You’re not my line, Lennon. You, honey? You’re my after.”

me. “I love you, honey. And loving you, being loved by you . . . it’s worth every fucking heartache. I’d do it all over again if it meant I got you in the end.”