Top Secret

by Sarina Bowen

“Because you’re stupid,” Judd offers helpfully.

LMFAOOOOO

my frat brothers suckered me into an epic session of Red Dead Redemption that lasted till three a.m.

2, not 1, right?

my Armani pants.

Okay Patrick Bateman

My goddamn fucking shittastic résumé!

LMFAO

just for shiggles.

SHIGGLESSJDKSJSJSHS

What are the odds that the couple I wanted to hook up with was Keaton and Annika?

well since you’re in a novel… i’d say. 100%

I stare at him. “You’re mad that I’m home late? Who are you, my grandma?”

HELP

“She dumped me,” I blurt out. Or, rather, the vodka does.

YESSSS AHAHHAHA

Then I get the hell out of there.

NOOOO GO BACK

When I creep closer, I hear Judd growl, “Not my president!” I choke down a laugh. Oh for fuck’s sake. I haven’t even taken office yet and I’m already a hashtag.

i’m rolling on the ground

SinnerThree: How about men? Motherfucker.

in yellinggg the gasp i gusped

I hate him, and I also want him to blow me.

YESSSSS

they*

He listens to more yapping

not the use of the word yapping

But that’s top secret.

roll credits