Top Secret

by Sarina Bowen

It bugs the shit out of me not to know what words mean. It’s like my poverty is showing.

realllll

When I see the caller display, my dick breaks the world record for Fastest Erectile Deflation.

Yeah. I’d like to avoid a Red Wedding situation, thank you very much.

If she just said it had to be a gift, not a loan, I wouldn’t feel so used when she asks me for money.

THISSSS

At the moment, I’m busy jerking off for Lobsterman.

LobsterShorts: No women for me tonight. SinnerThree: How about men?

DAMN i love him

I hate him, and I also want him to blow me.

If letting your fraternity brother touch your cock is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

I can’t believe I almost got pressured into a finance internship at Hayworth Harper Pharmaceuticals. To think, I would have missed seeing the Patagonian toothfish!

he's such a dork i love him

I’m just a guy, standing on a beach in nothing but his favorite pair of lobster shorts, waiting for the right man to love me.