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But now, sleeping on the couch, his face was relaxed, his lips were slightly parted, and his thick gold lashes dusted the tops of his tan face. He was beautiful, and if I were the type of person who created art, I’d paint him. As it was, I itched to grab my camera to capture him like this. So only I would know how the great leader of the Chaos Kings looked with his guard down.
“I hate when you do this.” My eyes were back on him. “Do what?” He stepped closer, his thumb still against my chin, but now his fingers were spread out against my jaw. “Lower your face as if you don’t belong to stay in the moment…as if you need to separate yourself from what’s going on. You do it a lot in the club.” I stared up into his eyes, letting his hand remain against my jaw. “I don’t belong there.” His thumb traced my bottom lip. “You do. You’re the only thing there that feels like home.”
“Well, she’s about to become my fucking wife, so you’ll get over your reservations and really fucking quickly. As for the kid…he’s mine too, and will be raised by me...”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be outside at night, under the stars, and preferably in a field of wildflowers. Your mom was supposed to be there and my dad…and it was supposed to be years ago when I had you all to myself. I take the blame, Penny. I always will, but you’ll have to agree to take my name and give me time to fix all of it. Because I promise I will, Pen. I promise that I’m in this until the end.”
“It’s always been you, Jameson. Always in the back of my mind at night, in my chest, expanding with my lungs in the morning, when the sun would warm the earth. You were always in my dreams when I thought of forever. However long you give me, I will happily accept.”
You’d lose that star lust in your eyes, that wonder that made them sparkle. You’d dim, and I couldn’t live in a world where you were any less bright.
“Your grandpa Mathias is watching down on you, and your grandma Wanda. You’ll feel their love in the warm breeze when it shifts and brushes against your face. They’ll love you in the way the sun will warm you, and the way the snow will fall when you least expect it. You’re not alone, baby boy. You’re so loved.”
