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“Your beard is gray,” I say, and that little dig makes me feel a modicum better. God, I am grumpy. “And your face is ugly. Let’s not point out obvious facts.”
“Help me find what I like?” She watches me with a thoughtfulness so profound it’s hard to comprehend. Like she sees something in me, understands me in a way I don’t even understand myself. She’s an old soul. That much is clear. I’m afraid that if she looks too closely, she’ll realize I’m shallow and have nothing to offer, that if she sees the real me, she’ll pull back and say good night. So I’m pleasantly surprised when she instead settles back on her stool and motions to the menu that’s been placed in front of me. “Well, what are we trying?”
“What are you doing?” Instead of responding with words, I press my lips to hers in answer. I’m kissing her. That’s what I’m doing. Kissing a woman I really want to kiss. Not because she’s gorgeous or because I want to get laid tonight. Those are truths, yes, but I kiss her because I like that she sees through the show I normally put on and calls it like it is. Because she’s the first person in months to make me want to take a risk. To make me want to make the effort.
“I’m going to lay you out on this bar, and then I’m going to pull off your panties and drink right from the tap.”
Holy shit. My dad’s best friend is tongue-fucking me on a bar top in the middle of Boston.
Despite Gavin’s assumptions, this is not how I expected the night to go. Yes, I came in here to seduce him. Yes, I knew precisely who he was when he walked in. And yes, I had every intention of giving him my virginity in a big fuck-you to my father.
He splays one large hand across my bare leg, squeezing and kneading my flesh. “Need something, Peaches?” Damn, I love that nickname. And I love that he has no idea who I am.
“Letting me eat you out is taking care of me, Peaches. You’re feeding me my goddamn favorite snack. Now please, can I eat?”
I fucked Millie Hall. I fucked my best friend’s daughter. So many times. Fuck. I took my best friend’s daughter’s virginity. Holy shit.
I’d do just about anything to go back in time. To live in that bathtub with him. To just be the girl he opened up to, the woman he held so sweetly and kissed like he’d die if he didn’t.
“I wouldn’t take it back,” he says quickly. “I know that’s wrong and fucked up, and I’m sure you’re grossed out now that you know who I am. But I want you to know that I appreciate what last night was for you, and it meant something to me.” He swallows audibly, searching my face, and then, in a softer tone, he repeats, “I wouldn’t take it back. It’s important to me that you know that, even if you wish you could.”
“I wouldn’t take it back either. And I’m not grossed out in the least because—” I wet my lips again, heart pounding. “I knew who you were.”
“And what?” He scoffs. “You’re mad at him, so you decided to fuck me?” His teeth are clenched so hard his jaw ticks, and his voice is a little too loud.
She smiles, her eyes a little hazy, like maybe she had a shot or two at the bar before she wandered out here. She takes the bottle from me, takes a swig, grabs my hand, and licks across my wrist. The feel of her hot tongue against my skin is almost as incredible as the soft moan she makes.
I snag the bottle from her grasp and take another swig, then I push her hair off her shoulder and lick a line right up her neck.
“Sit on me, Millie. Use my cock like you’d use a vibrator. It’s not wrong when you fuck a toy, right? So just…use me to get off.”
My vision is still mostly dark when I pull her up so she’s lying on my chest, our hearts beating wildly against one another. That’s precisely how I feel about her. Wild and untamed.
There are a million reasons to stay away. A million reasons why we won’t work. I open the safe and snag my passport. Then I text my driver. Millie Hall is the last girl I should want. But I’m tired of being reasonable. Fuck it.
“I couldn’t stand being where you weren’t.” His words are a vise around my heart, squeezing so tight that I’m dizzy. “What does that mean?” Gavin shakes his head and licks his lips. “I don’t know that either. I just—I wanted to see you, so I got on a plane, and here I am.” “Okay.”
Sweet Gavin has always been my kryptonite, but cocky Gavin, smirking Gavin? He’s my fucking undoing.
“I haven’t touched you in 461 days. Please get the fuck over here and let me hold you.”
Yes, I’m fucking jealous. I’m jealous of anyone who gets to spend time with you. I’m jealous of my own goddamn sister because she gets to see your beautiful face every damn day. I’m jealous of your shadow because it gets to be where you are. So yeah, I’m jealous of whoever this Gabe is because he just got to have dinner with you.
“You’re a tease, Millie Hall. A brat. I’m not supposed to want you or crave every little fucking thing about you, but I can’t stop myself.” My heart pangs in my chest at the admission. “I can’t force myself to put my friendship with your father first. It’s impossible to think of you as his daughter when the only thing you’ll ever really be now that I’ve been inside you is mine.”
“I may not know what I want to do with my life. Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing, period. But I know if you don’t kiss me right now, I may die. I’m yours, Gavin. All yours if you’ll have me.”
But Millie isn’t a risk; she’s my future.
“Your father and brother would still kick my ass.” Tilting my head back, I grasp her chin, stroking it softly. She’s so goddamn beautiful. “But it’s all worth it. I’d lose it all for you. Now be a bad girl and fuck me until you come so I can fill you up.”
“I love you, Millie Hall. You are the greatest fuck-it moment come to life.”
“I love you. I thought I loved you before, but now that I know what you did for Vivi, what you did for both of us? I love you even more fiercely. You deserve my love. You always have. We’ll figure out a way to keep Vivi. She’s ours. We’ll fight for her together.”
“When I call you mine, that encompasses my feelings. We belong to one another. Your heart and mine. I am infinitely and endlessly yours, Millie. I know I asked at the hospital—on a whim, once again—but you deserve me on my knees, begging. Please be mine for eternity. Marry me. Be my wife.”
