WHAT LIFE COULD MEAN TO YOU (Timeless Wisdom Collection Book 196)

by Alfred Adler

We are always better prepared if the marriage of our parents has been harmonious. Children gain their earliest impression of what marriage is like from the life of their parents; and it is not astonishing that the greatest number of failures in life are among the children of broken marriages and unhappy family life. If the parents are not able themselves to cooperate, it will be impossible for them to teach cooperation to their children. We can often best consider the fitness of an individual for marriage by learning whether he was trained in the right kind of family life and by observing his attitude towards his parents, sisters and brothers. The important factor is where he gained his preparation for love and marriage. We must be careful on this point, however. We know that a man is not determined by his environment but by the estimate he makes of his environment. His estimate can be useful. It is possible that he had very unhappy experiences of family life in his parents' home but this may only stimulate him to do better in his own family life. He may be striving to prepare himself well for marriage. We must never judge or exclude a human being because he has an unfortunate family life behind him.