Her Name in the Sky

by Kelly Quindlen

Ms. Carpenter, please, I need your help. You’re the only person I know who can hlep me. I’m so scared right now. I have feelings for another girl, feelings I’m not supposed to have. We did things together that you’re not supposed to do, things I only should have done with a boy. i’m so shocked at myself that I feel like it didn’t even happen, like it’s not real. Sometimes when I think about it I’m just disgusted with myself and I feel so dirty, I feel so wrong and like god hates me. But the scariest part is I was so happy when we were togehter. It felt so amazing, it felt like everything I always wanted to have with someone. But I know that can’t be true, I know that can’t be what god wants for me. But then why did he make me like this? Why did he put this inside of me? Why did he make me feel like I’m always happiest when I’m with her?? I don’t understand because I didn’t ask for this and I’ve tried really hard to make it go away. Every time I get these feelings I feel like there’s a monster inside of me, an evil monster that’s trying to take me away from god and lead me to sin. I wish I could be better. Everyone esle expects me to be better. I’m dating a boy right now to try and make everything better but it’s not working, it’s nto working, and now I’m ruining my group of best friends too. Everything is getting out of control, I can’t stop crying all the time, and now I’m drinking a lot too and I don’t know hwy. I’m sorry to bother you with this but it’s late and I’ve be...

SHUT UP I NEED TO HUG HER