“But if things were different, if I was straight, then there wouldn’t be any of this pain. You’d be okay, Baker would be okay, I would be okay. Ms. Carpenter, I just feel—I feel so lost. I can’t tell what’s right or wrong anymore. I can’t figure out the truth. I wish so badly that I could find Jesus, or God, or whatever—I just wish I could find him in the park or something, and sit down with him on the grass and ask him what I’m supposed to do. Or why any of this happened. I wish I could look into his face and say, ‘Why do I have these feelings in my heart? Are they bad? Why does everyone say
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