The Fake Out Flex (Hockeymances #1)

by Ash Kelly

We've been known to make a game of it, seeing who can handle the hottest dish. It's not a real Freeman family dinner until we're all red, sweaty, and crying. It's nice to blame the tears on food and not decades of unresolved psychological trauma.

Between sputters, I hear him say, "I was wondering if you still harbored a crush on the guy, and now I berry much know you do." I grab a peanut and toss it at his stupid face because good people cannot leave bad puns unpunished.

While my crush on Fraser has diminished somewhat over the years, his attractiveness hasn't. At all.

Levi smirks. The doorbell rings. Levi's smirk grows smirkier.

Levi stares at me like I'm crazy as I frantically run my fingers through my frizzy blonde locks. I let out a tiny shriek when my fingers come across something that is very much not hair.

lol what is in your hair girl?

"How did you get a stick in your hair, anyway?" "I went for a jog in the park after work." "That doesn't actually answer my question. But whatever. Why are you freaking out?

So yeah, I'm going to be the guy who gets his best friend's sister a bunch of yellow roses because when I saw them, I remembered they're her favorite. I'm an idiot.

you are not! you are adorable. 1st page and I already love you.

even though I've never done a violent thing in my life.

says the hockey player?

The truth is—the truth that no living soul in the world knows—I am truly, madly, deeply, head-over-skates in love with Evelyn Freeman. I have been since senior year.

She'll be classic Evie—upbeat, witty, gorgeous—and I'm going to have to pretend like…like I'm immune.

Now, I can do a spin-o-rama on the ice, rotating three hundred and sixty degrees while maintaining control of the puck, but I cannot for the life of me get my feet to move right now.

Okay. So far, so good. Operation Keep Things Normal is on track. She thinks the flowers are sweet. I've regained control of my legs. Levi's staring at me. Wait. Why is Levi staring at me?

She sighs. "Everything's fine." "Yes, because that was definitely a happy-sounding sigh," Levi presses. "Very common thing for people to do when communicating good news. Like, sigh, I won the lottery. Or, sigh, I landed my dream job. Or, sigh, I'd like to thank the academy for this awar—Ow."

really good banter

"No." "Okay. Forget the microwave turntable and the shoes. What if you break into his house…" "No." "Steal his beloved PlayStation…" "Still no." "Pawn it…" "I know you can hear me." "And use the money to sponsor a pig at the local petting zoo, which we'd name after him?" I suppress a smile. "We are not doing any of that." "You're no fun." She pouts, but

"You are not defined by what that guy did to you, okay? We are going to that wedding, and you will show him and everyone else there that you are a brilliant, vibrant, beautiful woman who has moved on with her life."

Margo takes the call, and I head back to my desk. Via the snack station. Where I swipe a pack of walnuts. And by pack of walnuts I mean a chocolate bar because I have feelings that need to be eaten.

"…but this isn't working."

why?! why would he do that then and there? what an a-hole.

My good luck bracelet. The one I kiss three times before and after each game, no matter what.

"It's not like that. She's my best friend's⁠—" He clears his throat. "She's my other best friend's younger sister."

"I see what you're doing, but fine." Culver chuckles. "She's my best female friend. There. Happy?" "Deliriously so," I deadpan.

"I seem to have developed this bad habit of buying flowers for you." "You're a monster. Where can I report you?"

"Why?" "No reason." Big reasons. But I can't exactly tell him that it's his fault.

"Sorry to disappoint you." "You haven't." He reaches across the table and pins me with a heated look. At least, I think it's a heated look. Or maybe the champagne's messing with me? "You couldn't."

It had been building inside me for a while, and I guess it just…came out."

it just came out?! sir, no.

I feel lighter as I say the words, and it hits me. This is why I needed to come today. It wasn't to prove anything to him or anyone else, it was to help me put this whole saga behind me and finally move on. And I have. I really have.

As Tori liked to remind me during our many, many fights before we broke up, I'm a prickly, closed-off robot with the talking skills of a cactus.

So why can't I find whatever that is and apply it when I'm with someone else?

um, hello...? my sweet boy...

"I bought it online for two hundred bucks." I don't know how to respond to that. What can I say? She makes it look like a seven-thousand-dollar dress.

"It's a love song that's not about big moments but about the ordinary, beautiful, everyday aspects of being with someone. It's about finding your person and feeling safe. Settled. Like you're enough exactly the way you are. I…I like those lyrics, and the whole song feels like a soft kiss on your forehead from a person you love. Sorry. That was probably too sappy."

I didn't like what was happening, but I did feel safe. Fraser made me feel safe.

Man, I love how her mind works. Most people would answer a straightforward question like that with a simple reply. But not Evie. She uses words the way a hockey player carves up the ice, ducking and weaving on the way to giving a proper answer. She makes you work for it, sifting and sorting through her at times jumbled stream of consciousness to get to the heart of what she actually means. And I love that.

Hearing about the girl you're in love with—the girl you've been in love with for so many years and can't get over—dating someone else is about as much fun as a colonoscopy.

awww

I failed to protect her once. I can't let her down again.

wait....what happened?

"But do you want to know what my absolute favorite thing is?" "I do. Tell me." "This." "Define this, please. For all I know, you've looked under your couch and found a half-eaten pack of Oreos."

Let me rephrase that. My self-restraint has bolted out the door, left the building, and is now five blocks away, looking back at me and laughing maniacally.

"Well, it doesn't feel like a choice to me. It feels like a family decision we made seven years ago that made sense at the time.

oh that wasn't as bad as I thought.

"There's taking time to get to know someone and build up trust, and then there's…well, you. You move at the pace of a tortoise with two broken legs."

And we've gone from the most boy answer ever to the most perfect answer ever in less than three seconds.

still have to be careful and not get involved with someone who doesn't want the same things I do, like live in a small town or wait until marriage.

I love how central that boundary is.

She chats with the anchor, being unusually vague, and then she HURLS HERSELF OFF THE BUILDING!

But right now, all I'm seeing is Evie plunging toward the street, and I AM NOT OKAY.

There is so much to unpack in that sentence…so of course I latch on to the most important detail. "You watch YouTube?"

"We're gonna be late," Evie mutters, managing to wrestle her lips away from mine. "Don't care. Making out like teenagers is more fun."

You guys have this really cool energy. I can't describe it. But it's not something you can fake."

For the record, I always hold her chair out for her because that's how a man should treat the woman he loves.

"Evie!" I yell out. "I love you, but can I have some privacy please?" "Oh." A brief pause, then, "Okay. Sure. I'll leave you be." "Thank you."

oh no! that is not how you tell her!

"Let me explain." "Please do. Start at the beginning. And talk slowly, please."

and I can actually do it. I can pursue a dream I never in a million years thought I'd be able to.

"It's…It's…It's perfect!" "Are you sure?" He scrutinizes me intently. "Because you just it's-ed me three times."

I don't think I'll ever be Mr. Sunshine Who Likes to Talk Everyone's Ear Off, but thanks to you, I'm also not going to be Mr. Don't Go Near That Angry Looking Man, either.