My Dark Prince (Dark Prince Road, #3)

by Parker S. Huntington

“Look, I know he has a reputation for being a brothel on legs, but I promise he is mostly harmless.”

“I have to say, this is my first time being escorted out of a sex scene instead of being invited.”

“Your anger sets fire to my loins.” “That burn is an infection, sweetie. Get it checked.”

“How did I miss all the red flags? You’re a freaking carnival.” “Well, you’re always invited for a fun ride.”

“I’ve missed you, Cuddlebug.” “Don’t call me that.” “Why not?” “For one thing, I’m not very cuddly anymore.” “Stabbybug?”

“Try not to run anything over.” “No promises.”

“Straight?” “Unfortunately.”

“Mr. von Bismarck, has your mother not taught you to take a hint?”

I realized I was acting irrationally. Perhaps even predatorily. Either way, it didn’t make a difference.

“You know, my entire life, I dreamed of someone who would protect me. Who would look out for my interests and welfare. That person never came. Not my mother, not my father, not my biological dad, and sure as hell not you.”

I heard a grunt, followed by the thud of Briar’s head bumping against what I hoped to fuck wasn’t the bobcat truck parked on the edge of the pond, and finally—a massive splash.

There would be time to fall apart. But that time wasn’t now.

“A purple-blue rose. The rarest color of all for a rose. Coincidentally, the color of your eyes.” Ollie dipped his head to kiss the back of my free hand, his gaze never wavering from mine. “And my balls all year-round.”

“Pervert much?” “Much. So freaking much, you have no idea.

They managed to turn the things I took pride in—my intellect, my introversion, my sensitivity—into insults.

“Toxic masculinity, my favorite flavor in boys.”

“How entangled you are in my soul. It’s like…a hair ball. I can’t unravel it.”

“Ollie, John Keats has been dead for over two hundred years.” He turned to kiss my bare shoulder. “Still not dead enough for me.”

“Now I’m going to punch you.” “Don’t threaten me with a good time. Every time you touch me is a call for celebration.”

“Still falling?” “Not when you’re around.” “Told you I’d hold it up.”

“I was thinking…” I scrunched my nose. “Thinking or fantasizing?” “Both. Always both when it comes to you.”

Any other girl would tell her boyfriend that her parents would never let her spend an entire summer with a horny teenage boy, but in my case, I thought my parents would be relieved if I suggested it.

“That I’m yours. Completely. Unconditionally. Tragically. I will take your hate over anyone else’s love. Your anger over anyone else’s compassion. Your tears over anyone else’s smiles. A moment with you over anyone else’s forever. You’re the one.”

I was no longer a teenager, but a woman. (Exhibit A: Boobs.)

How are you feeling?” “Like hell, but somehow worse.”

Don’t act so surprised. You’ve seen me naked plenty of times. You know it can’t be shorter than twelve inches. Romeo Costa: You spelled ‘eight on a good day’ wrong.

Romeo Costa: Where are you, anyway? Ollie vB: The hospital. Romeo Costa: THE HOSPITAL? Zach Sun: THE HOSPITAL?!?!

Please don’t get into a vegetative coma. I fucking hate making big decisions. I can barely make up my mind about what I want for breakfast.

For all I knew, she was in a loving, nurturing relationship with someone. But her phone had fizzled out in the water, and I had no way to reach him, so unfortunately (for him), that left me.

“Good. She’s awake. Do you want to see her?” Is death by a thousand paper cuts my other option? Because I’ll take it.

You are going to Hell, Oliver. No. You’re going somewhere worse. A new type of purgatory created to house you and your sins.

It took ten years to finally admit that my only kink, my only type, was Briar Rose Auer.

My dick high-fived my zipper with unmatched enthusiasm. Couldn’t blame him.

Normally, I didn’t bother with these pesky things called morals. Values accumulated by experience, not reason, and my experience with life had been shitty.

“You’re amazing. I’m a menace to society, but we even each other out.”

I liked my balls where they were. Firmly attached to my cock.

I was going straight to hell. And probably rooming with Columbus and King Léopold, too.

I’m sure your people can fetch a few things from her house and make a dozen AI pictures of you two.” “AI’s unethical,”

This looked like one big, fat intervention, which seemed unfair, considering my alcohol, sex, and coke habits were largely manageable.

find me someone who loves me like romeo likes killing people who offend dal.

You don’t like it when I chase underage skirt. You don’t like it when I DON’T chase underage skirt. There’s just no pleasing you people.

“You okay, Cuddlebug?” “I don’t know. Am I?” I fished out the contents of the glove compartment, including a glow-in-the-dark dino-dick, a BDSM chastity belt, and a spiky dildo. “What the hell are you doing to me when we’re in bed?”

“My being stiff is usually a bonus for you, not a complaint.”

“Do we have a big backyard?” “Yes.” He frowned, eyes still on the road. “What does that have to do with anything?” “Well, you’re obviously in the doghouse, and I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“Just yesterday, Meemaw sat me down and told me boys stick their pee pee in my pee pee to make babies.”

“Okay. What’s my favorite sex position?” I challenged. “Reverse cowgirl while I operate heavy machinery.”

“Cum again or come again?

Usain Colt and Al Capony.”

I’d always known Karma knew my address and would pay me a visit sooner or later.

But I had no idea she would deliver its punishment in the form of my first and only love pulling a spiky dildo from my glove compartment, forcing me to make an excuse for it.