My Dark Prince (Dark Prince Road, #3)

by Parker S. Huntington

“You don’t even let us come into your house.” I balled a napkin and threw it on him. “You literally had your wedding at my house, you fucker.” “Backyard.” “Dallas got ready in one of the rooms.” Zach stroked his chin with a squint. “The one where you don’t keep your sex slaves, presumably.”

“I keep them in the basement, not one of the upper floors. What is this…amateur hour?”

“You’re incapable of taking care of another human. In fact, I wouldn’t trust you with a houseplant.” “A plastic one,” Zach clarified. “One that doesn’t need any watering or sun.” “I happen to wholeheartedly agree.”

“It’s fine.” Dallas peered up from her brownie. “I wasn’t planning on letting you have your way with this innocent soul without close supervision, anyway. I’ll be there every day to ensure this girl’s safety.

“And you said pre-amnesia Briar hates you?” “Loathes every fiber of my being,” I confirmed. “Smart girl.”

She was temptation. And me? I was the perfect sinner.

Dallas Costa has added you to Familia de Dark Prince Road. Ollie vB: No.

I will literally crochet you into a new coat for her with my sword if you take advantage of this poor woman.

She is real, and she is magnificent.

Frankie Townsend: that asshole didn’t even try to sleep with me when he had the chance. Romeo Costa: The plot thickens.

His phone rang in the central console. The ringtone danced between us. “Sleeping Beauty” by Tchaikovsky.

“Welcome home, Cuddlebug.” But it didn’t feel like home at all. For a reason I couldn’t fathom, it felt like someone’s gilded prison.

“Are you guys excited to see mommy? Is that it?” Briar cooed. I wanted to kill myself. Not because of guilt, but because it gave me a glimpse into an alternate universe. One where I hadn’t screwed shit up with Briar. One where she really could be these dogs’ mother.

“They hadn’t.” I scratched the back of my neck, wishing I could ice away the heat that rose up to my cheeks. “I invested in a botany start-up a while back, run by a team of scientists from Davis, Cornell, and Harvard. They cracked the code. I have a full backyard of them.”

She obviously believed me a little less than she believed Santa was capable of sliding in and out of chimneys all night, on all seven continents, and still managed to be a jolly motherfucker.

“Uh-huh. What did you do?” “Why do you assume I did something?” “Because I would never risk our relationship. I’m too crazy about you.” Something prickled in my chest. A heart attack? No. Worse. Much worse.

She was so going to kill me when she got her memory back. Slowly. And painfully. I would probably get turned on by it, but still.

If you vanish from my life⁠—” “I’ll never vanish from your life.” She smiled sadly. “If you vanish from my life, you take away the best parts with you. In fact, you take away the only parts I care to lose. You’re the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me, Oliver von Bismarck. If I lose you, I have nothing left.”

How can exercise be prescribed? It’s not even a drug. In fact, I’ll NEED drugs after this. My ass is on fire.

“Anything weird about him, he absorbed through you via osmosis.”

“Tell me a little about yourself. What do you do for a living?” “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” “And before?” “A stay-at-home hostage.” “Oh-kay.”

No one. Not one of them. Not a single normal person.

“I love you.” I kissed her. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.” She grinned. “See you in a few weeks.” “Forever starts now,” I promised her. I didn’t know it back then, but I lied.

“I adore you,” he whispered. “I love you.” I turned to grin at him. He wasn’t grinning back. He looked serious. Sad. Lost. Devastated? But why?

It was the one thing I remembered very well. Not our relationship, but the acute feeling of belonging wherever he was.

“We’ll have fun.” “Highly doubt it.” I shouted behind me, already running down the corridor with the pups. “Yes, we will.” “Bring the dogs,”

Romeo Costa: So. Dinner went well. Zach Sun: If by well you mean the bottom of one, then yeah. Super well.

Your story about returning from summer vacation with a partial lobotomy that docked your IQ never made sense.

“She brought a paperback to the house earlier.” “She’s literate. Some would call that a wonderful quality.” “Then she whipped out her Kindle.” “Perhaps she got bored of the paperback.” “Nope. She got hungry.” “Don’t tell me she ate the Kindle?”

“Dallas used the car’s sunglasses compartment as a taco holder between lights.” “Okay, now that’s pure genius. You can’t hold a taco and drive. It isn’t safe.”

“If you were a nipple clamp, where would you hide?” Dallas charged back into the living room, hands full of breastfeeding gear. “Asking for a friend. Me. I’m the friend.”

“God created man so he would be ignored. It’s literally in the bible.”

“What’s the first thing Eve does? Eats that apple. Boom.” She snapped her fingers. “She ignored Adam’s request.” “It was God’s request.” I bounced her napping son against my chest, wondering if he could absorb any of this conversation in his sleep. “And the outcome was pretty horrible. All of mankind banished from Heaven.” “What are you? A pastor?” Dallas sipped her Frappuccino, drumming her almond nails over the Starbucks cup. “Girlie wanted a snack, and she practiced self-care.”

I had to, however, on account of the fact that MY FIANCÉE ALMOST LOST HER LIFE IN IT. Fake fiancée, you delusional imbecile.

“Did you decide to join us?” “What gave it away?” I flashed her a fiendish smile. “The fact that you kidnapped my fiancée?” “Kidnapped is such a strong word.” Dallas rolled her eyes, coming to a stop before me. “I prefer ‘whisked away on a spontaneous vacation.’” “Then, I prefer the term ‘passionate embrace.’” “Instead of what?” “Instead of ‘strangling,’ which is what I’m about to do to you.”

“He was my boyfriend. His name was Grant.” Grant deserved to be in an unmarked grave, six feet under, for the simple reason that he once breathed the same air as Briar.

“I’m trying to help.” I bared my teeth, downright feral. “Everything you touch turns radioactive.”

“I never thought you were capable of caring for anything that wasn’t the next parking lot for your peen.” “The technology does exist,” I muttered. “Not for you.” Farrow scrolled through her phone, not bothering to glance up at me. “You were programmed as an old-fashioned asshole. I didn’t think you had the features.” Dallas beamed. “Must be a new software update, right?”

“Pull this crap with Briar one more time, and I will make everyone’s lives on Dark Prince Road a living hell. You do not cross me when it comes to this woman. You do not put her at risk. You do not make stupid, reckless decisions. She is my ward. My responsibility. Mine to protect.”

“That’s not common knowledge.” “No, Dallas wouldn’t know that. She’s as knowledgeable as a fucking toddler, just not half as cute.”

Since when is he a PERSON? Are we humanizing him now?

Ollie vB: If I’m spiraling, it’s only because Dallas bought Briar a notebook. Romeo Costa: Hmm…that’s oddly collegiate of her. I’m…dare I say…proud?

And the problem is, Briar scribbles in it every time I say something like a therapist after her client tells her they think they’re living in a simulation. Zach Sun: Oddly specific.

Zach Sun: For the last time, Oliver, there is no market for taco glue. Ollie vB: THERE SHOULD BE. Those things fall apart faster than Dallas’s self-control at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

“All the same, I will not reward you every time you meet my expectations.”

“You must exceed it to gain prizes.

Ollie vB: I’m going to cry. Zach Sun: Please livestream. You know I love a good meltdown.

Neither of us would admit it. After I’d made the promise, we’d never spoken about it again.

You’re as miserable and lonely as I am. You’re just better at pretending otherwise.” You asked me to be, I wanted to scream.

I wouldn’t kick this woman out of my bed even if she was on fucking fire. She was threatening me with a good time.