Not only did that crotch goblin glue me to my seat, but he also planted a stolen teddy bear in my cubby, drew a bunch of ill-proportioned dicks on my desk, and told my crush, Lizzie Vanderburk, that I had head lice. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time after class with Ms. Finch. And then we started to realize that we had a lot in common.
