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Brooks should be the person you feel the most comfortable with, the most safe and secure with. But I don’t have that. I have you, and you have someone else.
“Because it’s been the best thing, and I thought you’d be able to see it. I thought you could see me.”
It was probably one of the best things that had ever happened: Teddy wanted to tell her best friend about us, which meant that we meant something.
“Anytime,” I said. I wanted to listen to Teddy talk forever.
Teddy had already told Emmy, and that meant that this was real to her, too.
If I wanted this thing with Teddy to go anywhere, I’d have to remember that she was built to shine and glow and shimmer, and I couldn’t take that piece of her only for myself.
He has to let her bejeweled!
I saw that my siblings’ and my friends’ mouths were wide open, except for Ada’s. She slapped Wes on the arm, and I couldn’t tell for sure, but I think I heard her say, “You owe me fifty dollars.”
I might love you, I thought, but I pushed that thought away.
But I did know I was really going to miss him. My Gus.
My girls, I thought, but quickly pushed that out of my head.
Also, his name was Graham? I’d been calling him Greg this whole time.
“I want you to know,” she went on, her voice earnest and kind—she put a hand on my arm—“that I think Teddy would make a hell of a bonus parent, and it would be an honor to add her to our team.”
“And I know what you look like when you’re happy or sad or tired—which is impressive, because to the untrained eye, all of your scowls look the same—but I’ve never known what you look like when you’re in love, until today.”
“And, Cam—if you don’t want to get married, I don’t think you should get married.” Cam smiled at me, but she looked sad. “I’ll be okay, Gus,” she said. “Not everyone is built for love the way you are.”
Even if the town didn’t know, there was no way either of my siblings—or Brooks—could keep that to themselves.
“It’s called rock jasmine, I think,” he said. “In case someone—or two someones—are looking for them.” And then he winked at me.
“Can I—” I hesitated for a few beats. I’d never asked for this before. “Can I have the day off?” The question felt foreign falling off my tongue. “This is important.” When I looked at my dad, he was beaming, like he was proud of me, like hearing me asking for time off was the best thing that’d happened to him in recent memory. He nodded. “Of course, August,” he said with a warm and knowing smile. “You deserve it.”
But first I needed to feel like I could stand on my own.
“I think it’s time you admitted to yourself and everyone else that you’re in love with Gus—the two of you making moony eyes at each other when he and Riley came over was enough to make me want to puke.”
But you’re my soulmate, Teddy Andersen, and I’m the luckiest girl in the world because of it.”
“So does that epic apology mean you won’t be mad if I tell you that I’m in love with your brother?” I said into her shoulder. “No,” Emmy said quickly, “but I’ll be pissed if you don’t tell him. Plus, I already knew—why else would you be painting the view from his back porch on your garage?”
I watched my daughter collide with the woman I loved, and I watched the woman I loved catch her. I watched them laugh and smile at each other, and then I watched them clasp hands and start walking toward me—the luckiest man alive.
“Stop smiling at me like that,” she said. “Like what?” I asked, laughing. Like a big, dumb, lovesick idiot is what she meant, probably.
I wanted to show up for both of them—to show them that I’m going to be all in. Forever.
And then Riley shouted, loud enough for all of Meadowlark to hear: “It’s rock fucking jasmine!” And I had no one to blame but myself for her impeccable use of the F word.
I’d always been a morning person—I liked to get up and get going—but lately, I’d started to really enjoy nighttime. I got to know Gus at night. We’d sat with each other in the living room, calmly existing in each other’s orbit for the first time ever, during that time. We talked. We laughed. We gave each other shit.
“Just a quiet life with a grumpy man from a small town, but I can promise to love you every day.” “You love me?” I said. Don’t cry, Teddy.
Gus chuckled. “Have I finally figured out how to get you to shut up?” he said. “Just gotta tell you that I’m madly in love with you, and I’ll get a little peace?” “Asshole,” I breathed. “I love you.”
After she’d tried her pointer finger, I took the ring from her, got down on one knee, and proposed to her with it on the spot.
My six-year-old looked at me like I was the dumbest man alive as she said, “She already is” with total confidence.
I was angry that I could’ve had more time with her if I would’ve just stopped being an ass. But then I realized that we happened exactly how we were supposed to. We had the rest of our lives, and whatever came after, anyway.
“What’s that?” She pointed at my shirt. I looked down and Teddy brought her finger up to flick me in the nose. I still fell for it. Every damn time.
