David Copperfield

by Charles Dickens

I was a posthumous child. My father’s eyes had closed upon the light of this world six months, when mine opened on it.

From that blessed little room, Roderick Random, Peregrine Pickle, Humphrey Clinker, Tom Jones, The Vicar of Wakefield, Don Quixote, Gil Bias, and Robinson Crusoe, came out, a glorious host, to keep me company. They kept alive my fancy, and my hope of something beyond that place and time,—they, and the Arabian Nights, and the Tales of the Genii,*—and did me no harm; for whatever harm was in some of them was not there for me; I knew nothing of it.

The Captain never lost dignity, from having his ears boxed with the Latin Grammar. I did; but the Captain was a Captain and a hero, in despite of all the grammars of all the languages in the world, dead or alive.

“Why, a batter-pudding,” he said, taking up a table-spoon, “is my favorite pudding! Ain’t that lucky? Come on, little ‘un, and let’s see who’ll get most.” The waiter certainly got most. He entreated me more than once to come in and win, but what with his table-spoon to my tea-spoon, his dispatch to my dispatch, and his appetite to my appetite, I was left far behind at the first mouthful, and had no chance with him.

“Perhaps you’d like to spend a couple of shillings or so, in a bottle of currant wine by-and-by, up in the bedroom?” said Steerforth. “You belong to my bedroom, I find.” It certainly had not occurred to me before, but I said, Yes, I should like that. “Very good,” said Steerforth. “You’ll be glad to spend another shilling or so, in almond cakes, I dare say?” I said, Yes, I should like that, too. “And another shilling or so in biscuits, and another in fruit, eh?” said Steerforth. “I say, young Copperfield, you’re going it!” I smiled because he smiled, but I was a little troubled in my mind, too.

“You haven’t got a sister, have you?” said Steerforth, yawning. “No,” I answered. “That’s a pity,” said Steerforth. “If you had had one, I should think she would have been a pretty, timid, little, bright-eyed sort of girl. I should have liked to know her. Good night, young Copperfield.”

Miserable little propitiators of a remorseless Idol, how abject we were to him! What a launch in life I think it now, on looking back, to be so mean and servile to a man of such parts and pretensions!

In a school carried on by sheer cruelty, whether it is presided over by a dunce or not, there is not likely to be much learnt. I believe our boys were, generally, as ignorant a set as any schoolboys in existence; they were too much troubled and knocked about to learn; they could no more do that to advantage, than any one can do anything to advantage in a life of constant misfortune, torment, and worry.

I was running on, very fast indeed, when my eyes rested on little Em’ly’s face, which was bent forward over the table, listening with the deepest attention, her breath held, her blue eyes sparkling like jewels, and the color mantling in her cheeks. She looked so extraordinarily earnest and pretty, that I stopped in a sort of wonder; and they all observed her at the same time, for, as I stopped, they laughed and looked at her. “Em’ly is like me,” said Peggotty, “and would like to see him.” Em’ly was confused by our all observing her, and hung down her head, and her face was covered with blushes.

I took that occasion to put my arm round Em’ly’s waist, and propose that as I was going away so very soon now, we should determine to be very affectionate to one another, and very happy, all day. Little Em’ly consenting, and allowing me to kiss her, I became desperate; informing her, I recollect, that I never could love another, and that I was prepared to shed the blood of anybody who should aspire to her affections.

All this time I was so conscious of the waste of any promise I had given, and of my being utterly neglected, that I should have been perfectly miserable, I have no doubt, but for the old books. They were my only comfort; and I was as true to them as they were to me, and read them over and over I don’t know how many times more.