What I Ate in One Year: (and related thoughts)

by Stanley Tucci

Felicity was out this evening. She said it was work related. I chose to believe her.

What else would it be?

That evening Felicity sautéed some scallops, but they didn’t really sear because the pan had not gotten hot enough, which was my fault because I had reduced the heat, as the butter was about to burn, and didn’t communicate that. They didn’t work out as well as she had hoped.

are you two ok

After more of this redundant lunacy, Felicity breezed downstairs beautifully made up, coiffed, and smelling of jasmine or something all too alluring, kissed the kids, and muttered a brisk goodbye that I just barely heard over the sound of my scouring. She obviously must have forgotten that I was to rub shoulders with royalty this morning, because her only words to me were, “Can you strain that broth I made last night?” As the front door slammed I prayed for her train to be delayed.

??

Upon her arrival, she was delighted to see the children of course, smothered them with hugs and kisses, cursorily pecked me on the cheek, and started to eat. Soon afterward, as we all watched a Harry Potter film, she promptly fell

do you not want her to work, Stanley? Is that it?

We spent the day at the house with the architect, the engineer, the landscapers. I am very excited about the prospect of creating a home where we can spend time together as a family, where friends and extended family can come for long weekends, where I can build an art studio and an auxiliary kitchen in which to film a cooking show that has been percolating in my hungry mind for a while now, where we can plant a vegetable garden and a small orchard and put the benefits of them to good use every season, where my daughters, or sons, can get married, where Felicity can bring her lover(s), where my proctologist(s) can visit, and where our grandchildren can spend time with their cousins for years to come when I am no longer here. Realizing all the above will take quite a while and a fair amount

So many “jokes”. Poor Felicity

Jilly was as gracious as ever, still standing and chatting vivaciously when we departed, which is a miracle for someone who has basically lived on mayonnaise and champagne for eighty-six years.

seems mean

Still distressed because Fee and I had an argument and I feel awful. Ugh.

In the children’s rucksacks were water bottles tucked into side pockets designed specifically for water bottles. Before we placed them in the gray bins, I asked Felicity if they were empty, and she told me they indeed were. She is not one to lie. At least about such things.

What are you implying here??

I have traveled endlessly around the world for the last three years, been tested countless times, felt unwell many times, but never tested positive, and yet this is the one time I test positive?!? This trip, to visit my aging parents so I can spend some quality time with them in the winter of their years! Really!?! Felicity calmed me down as usual. We called my parents and alerted them. Two days later we got a call that my father was in the hospital with Covid and pneumonia in one lung. They put him on intravenous antibiotics. By the next day he was a bit better, but then they removed the IV and he was told that the pneumonia was Covid induced and that the antibiotics would not work. That was confusing. But they gave him remdesivir to treat the virus. I am very nervous about his condition, especially since I am undoubtedly the one who gave him the virus.

wear a mask dummy

I have tested negative. My sense of taste and smell are returning, albeit slowly. The last time this happened (just before the first lockdown I thought I had a flu for about a day and a half and then we realized it was most likely Covid), they disappeared for about five days and then slowly crept their way back. I am relieved for the obvious reasons I stated before. Unfortunately, my mother is not feeling very well and has just tested positive.

so much whining about his health and aging and he wont wear a mask??

My father is back home from the hospital, completely recovered and in good form, as they say. My mother is much better as well and says she feels like she just has a cold. I am thankful. We cannot prove that I gave my parents the dreaded virus, but considering the fact that I met hundreds of people in New York before visiting them, coupled with my flulike symptoms, it is more than likely that I was the culprit. Had they been compromised for the long term or worse (died), how could I have ever forgiven myself? I don’t want to think of it because I have thought of it too often this last week. Anyway, all is well, and my sister Gina is there looking after them brilliantly but dreading she will catch it herself. Fingers crossed her good deed goes unpunished.

wear a mask!!

We were in bed early as Felicity has to leave tomorrow morning for the Cotswolds to “work,” and Matteo is having his tonsils out and we wanted him to get a good night’s rest.

why the quotation marks?

After helping with a bit of homework, I left them with our nanny and scooted off to Matteo’s parent-teacher conferences alone as Felicity was ostensibly out at a “book launch.” (I hate to say anything, but she has more launches than Cape Canaveral.)

what is this?

Felicity was out at a “retirement dinner.” I didn’t know sex clubs hosted those.

he seems so resentful when she leaves the house. She has a job! These “jokes” are gross and telling