The Third Gilmore Girl

by Kelly Bishop

I admit it, given a choice, with a handful of exceptions, I tend to prefer the company of animals to the company of people. Animals are honest—there’s not a hint of pretense about them, they just unapologetically are who they are, and their capacity to love and be loved outshines ours by about a million.

“I don’t borrow money. I have to earn it.”

Whatever maternal instincts I was born with were exclusively limited to taking care of animals. Other than that, no thanks.

From childhood on, not wanting children was as unapologetic a fact about me as my ethnicity, and I was just as unapologetic about it as an adult, which put me on the receiving end of such mystifying reactions as “You don’t really know what it’s like to be a woman until you have children” and “Are you a lesbian?” Well, yes, I do, and no, I’m not, so take it or leave it.

I knew I should have felt something when I heard the news that he was gone, but I didn’t. I felt nothing.

I’ve never been much of a crier. In fact, sadness rarely moves me to tears. When I do cry, it’s occasionally out of frustration, but it’s most likely over something beautiful, like a spectacular sunset, or anything animal-related, or a profound act of kindness.

Anyone who’s married to an addict who shows no interest in doing anything about it needs to be prepared for the probability that sooner or later, the only hope of surviving intact is to get out.

If I don’t earn it, I don’t want it.”

I’d be tempted not to mention him at all, but let’s face it, some experiences in life leave wounds that heal, and some leave scars that never quite go away.

Losing my mom was the worst, most devastating thing that had ever happened to me. When I lost her, I didn’t just lose my mom. I lost my hero. My biggest fan. My fiercest protector and my wisest, most patient teacher, who taught me everything from my first ballet lessons to honesty, to not being defined by my circumstances, to always, always loving myself, because if I was special enough to be loved by her, I must be worth loving.

“If it’s meant to work out, it will. If it isn’t, it will just make me available for what I’m supposed to be doing instead.”

“You know, if men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would outnumber Starbucks.”

“Women’s rights are human rights,”

It’s excruciating when you have to ask yourself if you love a pet enough to say goodbye to them when you know it’s what they need, and sadly, thank God, the answer is yes, you do.

I’m so lucky to be me, because I get to hang around with myself. It had nothing to do with ego and everything to do with a

lifelong awareness that I’ve always enjoyed my own company.

Don’t cry because you think your best days are gone. Smile because you had them in the first place.

No way would I try to talk someone out of their dream, no matter what it is. Whatever it is, I believe you immerse yourself in it, work hard at it, express yourself through it, challenge yourself with it, give yourself every opportunity to fall in love with it, and explore the adventures that come with it. If it’s the right dream for you and it allows you to support yourself, so that you’re not pursuing your dream at someone else’s expense, it will probably last a lifetime.

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.”