The Third Gilmore Girl

by Kelly Bishop

Most of the time, though, I preferred being by myself in our finished basement,

Okay damn rich bitch

Once you have children, you’ll never be free again.”

Jesus christ

From what I understood, there were countries all over the world that had too many people and not enough food, and I wasn’t about to contribute to that problem by adding another child to make things even worse.

YUUUUUUUUP

He was from St. Louis,

FUCK YEAH ST LOUIS MENTIONED LETS FUCKING GO

There was one member of the dance troupe I especially liked—a very nice, very talented Black performer in his thirties named Morgan Freeman.

NUH UH

I’ll always think of him as the quintessential New York Jew.

.....huh?

The rabbi’s exact words were “Well, if anyone can fix him, it’s you.”

That is batshit insane

and the one I got to do, and loved, Central Park West, by the brilliantly hilarious Woody Allen.

.....the pedophile?

It’s excruciating when you have to ask yourself if you love a pet enough to say goodbye to them when you know it’s what they need, and sadly, thank God, the answer is yes, you do.

Oh wow