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Melinda barked out a high-pitched laugh. When she realized I wasn’t joking, she paled, pressing her lipsticked mouth to her cup of tea. “Wait, he got cremated?” She whispered the last word, like it was a swear word. “No, we just pushed him in there. It’s really not that difficult when you squeeze someone one limb at a time,” I deadpanned.
The human answer to smegma.
And always remember what I told you: the darkness envies the moon because it helps it shine. Don’t let people tell you you are anything less than perfect.
All because of Rhy, that thundercunt, who’d decided to make a point. If money was what she needed, I could’ve written her checks to keep her away.
For some reason, the last thought made me want to dip Kieran’s head in a bleached toilet full of piranhas.
“That’s all right. No one wears nervous breakdowns better than you.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze.
Sure enough, I spotted Cal, with her black overalls and white turtleneck and that face that was equally fascinating and painful to look at. My own personal sun, shining too bright and too hot.
there’s something else.” “No,” he harrumphed. “Wait, yes. Now I remember—I also want to fuck you again.” I tripped over my own feet, about to dive into the ground. He caught me by the hem
“Did too. Fair warning—I want much more than fucking this time around. I want dates. I want laughs. I want you to be honest with me. All the stuff that freaks you out for some reason. No strings attached. No commitment. Just fun. A perfect do-over.”
“Fine. Want the truth? Here’s the truth: No, I didn’t ‘have feelings’ for you.” He air-quoted the words with a sneer. “I was in love with you. Honest to fucking God, full-blown, snatch-my-heart-out-and-let-you-use-it-as-a-stress-ball in love with you.” He looked disgusted with himself for uttering each word. “And you didn’t give half a shit about me.”
“How is she doing?” I was foaming at the mouth. Now was a good time to admit to myself that I did give a shit. Lots of shits, if I was being honest. An entire fucking sewer.
“She wasn’t what you were looking for?” I licked my lips, feeling guilty about drawing so much pleasure from hearing this. “She wasn’t you.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not as good a liar as you. I can’t stop thinking about you, and it’s killing me. Killing me that I somehow ended up wanting the only woman I could not have. That someone came along and ruined you before I had the chance to even show you how great it could be. That this someone was fucking Franco. It’s killing me that I now need to spend the rest of my life trying not to kill Allison Murray, despite her being highly murderable. It’s killing me that we could’ve been there for each other, but we weren’t. That we could’ve healed each other, but instead, we just cracked deeper
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“Dot?” “Hmm?” “Shut up.” I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “Make me.”
“Baby, thought you’d never ask.”
As soon as he saw me, his frown melted into something else entirely. I loved that he looked at me in a way he never looked at anyone else. Like I wasn’t just a person but an experience.
“I believe the quote is, there is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportions,” Kieran had muttered, hissing as his nose bone was jammed back into place. “And that was Edgar Allan Poe.”
From the other room, I heard Row dropping his voice to a threatening whisper. “Now, you listen to me, Semen.” Semus, not Semen. Also, was he…threatening my cat? “You’re gonna stop pissing in Cal’s shoes, or I’ll come here personally every day to take a shit in your litter box. Now, how would you like that?”
She was exquisite, and she was all fucking mine.
My eyes rolled in their sockets, stars exploding on the backs of my eyelids.
“Let me make something very clear here—I love cooking. I love traveling. I love money.” I took a breath. “But I love you more than all of those things combined. That won’t change tomorrow, next month, or next year. You’ve given me in eight weeks what I haven’t had in twenty-seven years. You’ve given me smiles, laughs, warmth, and hope. But I have to protect my own heart too, and right now, spending time with you is killing me. If, one day, be it near or far, you change your mind, you know where to find me. Until then, it’s all or nothing. And I’ll take nothing over something.”
You are a fucking rock star, and I want you to remember that every time you doubt yourself. That there’s a guy out there in the world who worships the ground you walk upon. That you marked him so thoroughly, he’ll never forget you.”
Truth was, love was the best or worst thing that could ever happen to you. It all depended on whether you had the courage to accept it.
